When Will It Get Easier

I miss him saying "Good morning Love" or " I meees you!" ,and  the texts in the middle of the day saying "hello beautiful" . If I could go back in time I would take back the day my husband was killed.The pain of missing him hurts too much.  I long for his touch, his kiss, his laugh, i would give anything for one more day with him. He was the guy who everyone wanted to be around. Made everyone laugh, he would do anything or you. If you were walking down the street he would stop and ask if you needed a ride.Or that shoulder to lean on when you've had a bad day, or someone just to play a game of beer pong with, he was everything a man should be but  Most of all he was my best friend. I miss that most, i miss having that one person to talk to about everything, who would listen to you and give you real advice even if you didn't want to hear it. How to you cope with losing your husband? My husband was in the military so to me it seems like a really really long deployment but whens the homecoming party? whens my baby coming back?? its been to long. I only wish he was on deployment right now.. that would be the least of my worries. Our 3 year anniversary is coming up in September and I'm trying to think of every way to avoid that whole month to try to erase it completely out of the year. We just started our lives together i wasn't ready for this :(
StephieB11 StephieB11
18-21
1 Response Aug 12, 2010

I know you hurt. My husband and friend of 34 years dropped dead in Jan. I talk to him, I scream at him for leaving me without a good-bye. I close my eyes at night and ask him to hold me and in a strange way I can feel him. I try to remember hearing the rhythm of his breathing the smile on his face, his last kiss goodnight. Eventually I fall asleep and he's there with me. Death is part of living yet a journey that is so difficult for those left behind. September will be here because you can't stop time, you can plan to celebrate September though. Write a list of all the fun things you did together and do those things or just visit them in your mind. And each day talk out loud to the one you love and believe he can hear you. Take care of yourself.<br />
When my husband and I first met we made a deal...whoever died first would come back and tell the other one is there was life after death...it was an agreement we spoke of often. My husband played lottery number for years #316. It hit the day he died. Then it appeared at strange times in front of me...a bank deposit 113366... a plaque in a magazine that my sitter loved it was for a house number 316. I can't tell you how many times this number came up...to the point where family asked for me to stop it...then it happened...my sisters and I were on a cruise ship. we walked into the library and lying on its side was a book 316...I shook, the sisters screamed. I got the book. 316 is a biblical verse...the last word are..."eternal Life" I take it from my husband there is life after death. The biblical verse is John 3:16.