I'm moving down south tommorow. he doesn't even know i am leaving the state. he knows i am not with him. but all of my clothes are still there. i know he thinks i will be back because i always come back but not this time. my flight is booked. i really wanted us to work. i really wanted to see him grow and shine but everytime we take two steps forward we take a step back. so we are always stuck in the same cycle. i know he is crushed because he really wanted me to believe he would do better. and i do kind of believe it but i am scared what will happen a few months from now. he doesn't stick with him promises and that kills me. i don't even think he can. he needs help and he was finally willing to get it but he wanted me to live with him so that we could go together. i would have done it because he finally was going to go to therapy but then i rememebered how many times he has snapped and hit me and i said he needs to get help before i come back. he needs me i know but i have to protect myself.
I miss him though. i miss his smile, his laugh, his handsome face. the fun we had, the way he made me feel when we were happy.