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I Miss My Husband , Military Life Isn't Easy

    My husband and I met last year in June and started dating in July. We got married in January.  We moved into housing in January. He left for Iraq in March. It was really hard at first. I'm not saying it is easy now, it's not. But it is easier then it was before he left and right after he left. My big problem is getting use to Military life. I can' tfind anything on base and I don't really have any friends out here. I know one of the wives that's husband went over with him but she's in PA.  Anybody else having problems getting use to the military life?
Derekswife Derekswife 26-30, F 29 Responses Jun 3, 2007

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Hi dear,sons &daughter of senior republican party or Democratic party dont marry the army men or women,It sad mostly sons and. Daughters of middle classes or undereducated or former prisoner end in army orr military,because it (military)gives hope to the hopeless,I think that is great.But why they must suffer due sepration with thier families,while sons and daughters of presidend or politisians enjoy thier marital relations and With thier parents toplan for thier success & to become president or businessman.When. children of rich& powerfull families must go to military,there will be no wars,beside in that case they will loose allthe wars because they have no stemna but money and unguts to reshuffle the gulable military everywhere on planet to risk thier lives and to brainwash them& to exploit them.

Hi dear,As the saying"Mammas & Dads Dont let your sons Soldiers & army or air men.People who decide for them mostly pay heavy priece,because of vulnorblity they can be trained or brainwashed to be faith to thier country first and then to thier spouces..That is sad.Too late after so many sacrifies spouses tealise they became the victims of thier military husbands afer all the years of patience ,hope & dreaming to simply to have husband or partner shatteres in many many cases.As the saying goes,"Let your husbands be Doctor,Engineers,bussnessmen or lawyer or simple workers who will never intend to leave thier wives for years just because the feel commited to the Government first to plan to kill and occupy innocent lands far away by risking thier own citizen who deserve to be with thier longing and paciently awaiting wives.....Imagin military girlfriends or wives posted in Iraq or Afghanistan and. Husbands adjusted to modern situations leaned with times to simply having good times, adjusted to live good to have Money coming from Army wife fighting & waterboarding in to innocent victims in Iraq &Afghanistan.It sad see Innocent American familes with loving disirs to be close to thier loving ones,some how it all gets messed up by army connections and plans &adventures.

Where are you my hubby is also gone we are navy so he's gone a lot I have 2 kids an I'm in Va. Beach I know all of 2 wife's I like an it's hard I have no fam heare don't freak out it will be ok an gd you will be the strongest women you know it takes so much out of us each time thay go

yes..i just turned 20 never had a serious relationship i met my husband when i was 8 years old...we grew apart different lifes, then when we started talking again (just as friends) he was in afghan when he came back and lived in the same town as me i fell in love instantly after rejecting him over seas over and over again..now were in germany only been here a little while and its so hard nights like this when hes gone :'(

Military life is very hard, and Im very new to it. I was supposed to move down to Texas after my husband got out of training, I had packed everything in boxes, went and bought things we were going to need for the house, and was all ready to go when he found out he wasnt even getting BAH and is deploying for iraq in the beginning of june. (mind you i did all of this 8 months pregnant) i feel as tho im no longer in control of anything including my own life. Its soo stressful and knowing that we wont get to spend hardly anytime with each other or him with our son after hes born and missing the first year of his life, really eats me up. Hopefully things will get easier like you say, I just cant imagine what lies ahead.

I can relate 100%... just from the other side of the spectrum. I'm the one in the Navy while my husband is a civilian. He was in the service... we actually met on my first ship :)!! Right now I'm stationed in IL and he's in SC. We've been seperated since May 1. Nearly a year and I haven't seen him once! It's because I'm on temporary orders and I won't be able to get the funding from the navy to move him up here until I become permanent staff. The way it's looking that might not be until September. You are not alone in this!! Remember that it's worth the sacrifice and those of us on my end of things really need your support and your love! Thank you all for being there for my shipmates (or soldiers or... whatever the other branches call each other :) ).

hunny you have no idea how much i feel for you! my husband left 2 weeks after our wedding to the day, that was 3 months a go and its the hardest thing i have ever done in my life, like u said it gets easier but its still hard and not the same. i also don't have a lot of friends or people around who understand, <br />
but no your not the only one who feels that way and your really not alone

YES iam still trying to get use to military life its weird and unexspecting you never know what going on till the last minutes and with two kids he hard when you have to be both mom and dad.Sometime it seems they do things upside down and backwards that all how i can explain it i have been a military wife for alittle over a year and its still taking some getting use to .

been married for 7 years and still getting used to being a navy wife

I was both a military wife and a active duty solider. It was hard @ first adapting to different people different enviroment. U can try to see if you find online base groups like mommy and me. They have volunteer ops in different squadrons. Go to the gym go bowling go to the base chapel. Get involved. I find it easier when I was in the military then out cause of the support system I had there. I know its hard but do whatever you need to do to make things happen for yourself. I know its hard when your husband is gone, but you are going to get more depressed if you just stay in ugly base housing. Get out. Look around find groups. Have fun. I hope this helps.

I am in the same boat as you, "Dereck's wife" my husband and I meet in June and we got married in December and he;; be leaving for !uatar on Monday, I know I will miss him a lot, too.

i kinda know how you feel...well my husband is still here but will be out on a ship for like 10 months in the near future. but i am also now in a new state with know one and it is so hard for me!!! i really miss home and to make it worse he has friends here because he has been here for a couple of years already but i have no one other then him. as glad as i am to be here with him i am missing pa!

I have been a marine wife for 19 years and have gone through everything I have raised and still am raising our three boys it is exausting! if your husband is a career marine you better toughen up!

your not the only one that feels that way i feel the same way the only difference is my husband has not left yet to iraq until feb.08 which is just around the corner..and i have a toddler and a 6mnth old and its pretty lonely here in jacksonville,nc since i dont know anyone around here either.

No, you aren't the whole one that has that problem. i just moved here 3 weeks, and its harder for me because i am really new, and no nothing around. what base are u stationed on?

I'm am in the same boat my husband and i met in july of 06 and got married in dec. 06 he left sept. 07 right after i had our first child. Are you living at fort drum? I am only in Syracuse about an hour away. please chat. I need someone who knows what i am going through. All of my friends decided that i don;t exsist anymore. I have almost no family down here. Just very lonely being a military wife.

I think it's very hard getting used to military life and having the one person u love so far away...I know how u feel and other people don't seem to understand but women going it

I am a military wife, and am part of a mil-spouse online support community called spousebuzz.<br />
<br />
Let me invite you to this event...<br />
<br />
http://www.spousebuzz.com/blog/2007/10/ft-braggpope-he.html<br />
<br />
There is no cost, and I think it would be helpful to you

I totally understand. Its hard to adjust to the military life especially if you don't have any previous experience as I didn't. Its going to be hard without your husband there, but you will probably have to push yourself outside of your comfort levels to try to meet new people. I have to say that I'm so impressed that you've made it this long without your husband and not many friends up there. The other wives can be a huge support while they are away. Have you thought about joining FRG or some other group. Even if you might not particulary want to be involved it could be a great way to meet other wives and make friends. Good luck

My husband is in Basic training right now, but the whole experience with the military just to get to this point has been so exhausting and it is hard, becoming a military wife, no matter what branch, is a very difficult thing. I got married on a thursday and my husband left the following tuesday... I got to be a newly wed for a whole five days and hes sopposed to go to Iraq a few weeks after graduation from Basic, Hes doing infantry and is gaurenteed combat... its a horrible experience but you have to try and make the most of it.... one thing I've learned so far is that EVERYTHING down to getting a military ID takes more time than anything ever did in the civilian world.... but thats the life we chose when we got married, so we're stuck with it. good luck sweetie :)

i have never lived on a base but i am am military wife and i know what it is like haveing my husband gone all the time. write to me if you ever need some time to talk to

I know what you mean. My fiance left for iraq two days ago, and I feel like i'm falling apart. no day is a good day. I was in the military, and I thought that it would be okay, but its so much harder than I thought it would ever be. I dont' know what to do, and I don't know that many wives either. :(

There is a video on www.youtube.com that might help you feel more related to. Check it out. If you believe it would be helpful to others pleass pass the url on to anyone who knows someone who would benefit.<br />
<br />
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6f3OmJCVTs

I honestly understand where you are coming from. Ive been with my husband since 1999 and we have two kids together. Im still not use the military life. He just got deployed last week and we live in this really small town and i have no friends. Life pretty much sucks right now. It is the life we chose and i love him but its really hard.

I am preparing to be without my husband. He will (supposedly) be deployed to Iraq in Jan. You would think we have some time before, but there is back to back training up to that point, so it is only a few weeks here or there. I did not marry into the military, and have no clue on what to expect or if I should even expect anything at all. I am afraid that if I have no control over the situation that is what will drive me crazy. Best wishes to all.

its so hard to get use to my new life with my finace. this is his dream and im behind him 1000 percent but i miss him soo much . his been in basic training a little over a month now and it hard because we never spent more then a week apart before he left. im worried because i have decided to move into housing with him once we get married but im in school and its also improtant to me to stay in school . i just all goes well..

well my finace just left for bootcap yesterday and i am going crazy but i really dont know how to deal we are getting married when he comes home but i dnt knw what to expect on base

Military life is not easy,but it takes alot of heart and commitment to your other half. Like i always say to my husband when he is away and he starts feeling alone i say to him i know who i married and what i married and that is the military. It takes a special person to do what we do. best of luck military wife

I am in a similar situiation. I moved into housing with my husband in Feburary thinking that he wouldn't be getting deployed till September. But 6 days after I had moved we found out that he was going to Iraq 3 weeks later. So for the past 3 months I have been living on base with my son. I haven't met that many people yet and don't have any family nearby. It gets so lonley.