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My Soul Mate Is Gone, My Life Has Been Destroyed.

I met my husband the summer of 1999 while playing volley ball at the river.  I had recently came out of a relationship that was not so great and was not looking for a relationship.  We hit it off right away and became great friends.  By Oct 2000, we were married.  He swept me off my feet.  Our relationship was what I had waited my whole life for.  We would finish each others thoughts and freak out about it.  He brought laughter and an appreciation of life to me. In a very short time we bought a home and adopted 3 cats and 2 dogs.  And without any warning at all, I get a phone call telling me he is dead.  3 days after Christmas, 2006, the worst day of my entire life. How can that be?  The only person who ever treated me like I really meant something in this world?  The only man I ever felt true respect for? Why would God finally answer my prayers and then take it all away? But he is gone. My world is empty and cold. 

Some days it seems that I simply have no purpose.  I don't want to accept what has happened and yet how can I not? I miss him so much and it seems that this horrible pain will never end.  Even now over 5 months later, I pray to God to let me wake in the morning and it only be a dream. I need him, I miss him, I love him so much. 

I hate this.  I hate most everything. 

GeneosLady GeneosLady 41-45, F 21 Responses Jun 5, 2007

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I know how you feel.I lost my husband April 10th. He was my rock my best friend.I have children with him...He went to work and never came home.It still feel like a bad dream I can't wake up from.We have been married for almost 6 years. We've been together for 12 years.My life has stopped , but the world keep on moving ..........

Hang in there God will never give you what you cannot handle ,I understand its easier said than done but pray and pray hard so you can be comforted...it will be ok

I hope you are feeling better now that 5 years have passed. My condolences.

i feel your pain my wife of 32 years passed away in may.my life ended the day hers did im so lost i have no idea what im doing.they say time heal all wounds but i do think thats going to happen anyways im so sorry for your lose maybe well both smile again please take care

All I can say, is that I know just how you feel. The love of my life passed away 15 months ago and I am still sad (not depressed) just lost without him. We got married when we were both 19 years old and we were together 43 yrs. and raised our 3 sons together. He was such a wonderful man. He was so good to me and even after all these years, we still loved one another passionately. It's hard finding my purpose in life now. But, I know I am not alone. I have had to learn that death is part of life. I have lost my parents, my brother, and now my sweetheart. I have a strong faith and I have 3 wonderful son's that check on me all the time. I wish I could tell you it gets better. All I can say is that the grieving and crying get further apart. However, our lives are changed forever and nothing will ever fill the void in our hearts. I take it one day at a time, that's all I can do. I can't wait when it's my turn to leave this earth and then I will get to be with my sweetheart once again and I have to believe that. Your grief is still very fresh and it's okay to cry...crying is cleansing. I always feel better after a good cry. God Bless you and keep you in his care. Sandy S.

, I read your story and felt like I needed to say that I'm sorry for your loss I recently lost my wife and I have never felt so alone before. I have went through so many stages in depression. I always end up right back in the same place, a cold dark miserable place.So don't feel so alone. I hope you have loved ones around you that you can talk to. EP is a good place to let your feeling go, so don't shut yourself up in that place.take care.

I know exactly how you feel.I met my husband in February of 1995.He was God sent.We were married in October 1996.Our first child Cole was borned on April 6,1998 and our second Hannah on March 15,2000.My husband Stacy was a long haul truck driver.On the morning of April 12,2010 I received the news that he was killed while he was preparring to get unloaded.In two more weeks it will be 5 months since God called him home.If it wasn't for our two children then I really don't know where I would be right now.

I am so sorry! for your lost. I can somewhat relate to your pain of missing someone that you love so deeply. I lost my husband and my soul mate also,but not to death put to another women. {DIVORCE}. We had been together off & on 13 yrs. Then we married in April,2003 and by 2005 we seperated and for the next year and a half we tried to save our marriage. We also have a son together who is now 16yrs old. And then oneday when he {ex } brought our son home I decided to follow him just to see where he had been spending all of his time lately,because it sure wasn't with me trying to save our marriage. Oh!! yea. need I say more. I LOVE HIM with everything that I am. He was my life for 18yrs. My Heart! My Soul! My Best Friend! My Everything!! And I can't seem to find a way to go on without him. I feel my Life has no meaning what so ever now. And during the time of our seperation , I also LOST MY MOTHER to lung cancer. So! I do know how you feel when you say ,you feel like you just don't belong anywhere anymore!!! I feel like that just about everyday now. Somedays are worst than other's,but by the grace of God! I am holding on. My prayer's are with you and yours! And I hope you find peace with your lost. GOD BLESS YOU!

I am so sorry! for your lost. I can somewhat relate to your pain of missing someone that you love so deeply. I lost my husband and my soul mate also,but not to death put to another women. {DIVORCE}. We had been together off & on 13 yrs. Then we married in April,2003 and by 2005 we seperated and for the next year and a half we tried to save our marriage. We also have a son together who is now 16yrs old. And then oneday when he {ex } brought our son home I decided to follow him just to see where he had been spending all of his time lately,because it sure wasn't with me trying to save our marriage. Oh!! yea. need I say more. I LOVE HIM with everything that I am. He was my life for 18yrs. My Heart! My Soul! My Best Friend! My Everything!! And I can't seem to find a way to go on without him. I feel my Life has no meaning what so ever now. And during the time of our seperation , I also LOST MY MOTHER to lung cancer. So! I do know how you feel when you say ,you feel like you just don't belong anywhere anymore!!! I feel like that just about everyday now. Somedays are worst than other's,but by the grace of God! I am holding on. My prayer's are with you and yours! And I hope you find peace with your lost. GOD BLESS YOU!

To those of you who have loved and lost, as you all know your spouses would want you to go on. Be strong for them, go on for them, and know that as long as they are in your heart they never really die.

God cares about you with the deepest feelings that you would never understand. Remember, He also had to watch his son suffer and die that horrible death on the cross for you, so he knows how you feel. God's son had a reason for dying and so did your husband. Knowing that, now is the time to draw close to God's heart and let him fill you with joy and peace. He is eager to show you his love, so draw close to him and not away.

My deepest sympathies are with you. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I can't even imagine what you are going through and I am scared everyday until my husband of almost 3 months comes home so we can start our new life together. He would want you to be strong and remember all the good times that made you smile. Just remember he is always in your heart forever. Take one day at a time. Hugs

stay strong and believe me things happen out of our control and we dont know how to react or feel please hang in there thing will get better u have an angel beside u now

I would never say, " I know how you feel"., but I've had to make friends with death and loss. I have a strong feeling that we are going to be pleasantly surprised when our time comes. In my family there has never been a death from natural causes, not in the last 45 years anyway,.. and the last five who have gone on, left me feeling "ripped off" in the biggest way. It wasn't their loss of life, but my loss of their company, that I mourned for. My Mother was my best friend, she left while I was on my way to say good bye.<br />
My personal "Word of Knowledge" has told me this. Watch how everything appears cold and dead in winter time, and year after year, Spring brings everything back to life. Watch how the caterpillar makes a seeming coffin for itself, that is really an incubator. Watch! Nature doesn't just speak of renewal, rebirth, and redemption - She screams it at the top of her voice!<br />
At the risk of being "politically incorrect", even the Bible says so! Romans, Chapter one, Verse twenty.<br />
I hope your loss turns to sweet memories.<br />
I hope you'll know, that your dearly departed are so much MORE than memories, and that there is no such thing as ghosts. The grief you may feel, cannot even compare to the coming joy!

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. The loss of a love one is so hard to deal with and you ask yourself a lot of difficult questions. Just remember, you are the one he loved. He loved you and he sounds like he was a happy and caring person. He would want you to continue on being who you were. He would not want you to lose yourself. When you think about him, focus on the happy times, and the love you shared. I have always been told "It is better to love and lose it than never have been loved at all" <br />
I have lost a lot of people in my life who were important to me and I am scared to death something is going to happen to my "new" husband (we were just married in May). To me it seems like I always lose those who I love the most and it makes it hard to let myself love. I decided I have to take that chance. I have to love while I can. <br />
I will pray for you. Instead of questioning why this happened, maybe start thanking God for giving you a man who was so wonderful.

Your story is the biggest fear of my life. My heart goes out to you. I just watched my husband go over to the sandbox. We just got married, and I have never been happier in my life than when I am with him. I am so afraid every time the phone rings that something bad has happened. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

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I can't say anything to help you. You are one of the many casualties of war no one thinks about, but I do. I always have, and will more as I wait for my one true love to leave. I have 8 months until then and your words have made me realize I better us them to their fullest. My prayers that your loss, which never leaves, becomes tolerable for you.

i lost the love of my life 8 years ago in may. i was so lost for so long, i didn't want to live, i didn't want anything. the only reason why i kept getting up in the morning was because i made a promise to him that i would not give up and i would continue to live my life. I still think of him everyday. but my heart eventually stopped breaking, it started to heal because i stopped focusing on the pain of losing him and not having him with me anymore,but on the fact that i was so lucky to have found him, to have someone that special in my life. thier are so many people out thier that will NEVER experiance true love, real love, unbreakable love and i no matter how short got to know it and recieved it in return. right now it is hard and will be for awhile, but it does become easier. this is a normal stage of greif. i hope that one day you can focus only on the love you shared and not on only the pain you feel. e-mail if need to talk.

& nbsp;When my husband died I think the hardest thing to do was to get up in the morning. My husband always told me the best part of his day was to wake up with me and to go to bed with me. It took a a little time but it just came to me one morning, there was only one reason to get out of bed. I had to Pee... Yes, I took it as Gods way to tell me to get up, once up I could hear my husband say, Your burning daylight girl. So to this day 2 yrs. later, there's only one reason to get out of bed. but it's the love and determination to keep on keeping on that helps me fill the daylight. hope this helps you, God Bless

I am sorry for the tremendous pain you are feeling.<br />
I am sure your husband is experiancing extreme joy and peace right now and would not want you to stop living.<br />
<br />
When my 25 year old brother died, I read a book that helped me tremendously, "Conversations With God, Book I".<br />
Here are a few quotes from that book.<br />
<br />
"You see, to a doctor or a nurse, death if failure. To a friend or relative, death is disaster. Only to the soul is death a relief-a release."<br />
"...for the soul to experience perfect love, it must experience every human feeling."<br />
"The purpose of the human soul is to experience all of it-so that it can be all of it." "The way to reduce the pain which you associate with earthly experiences and events—both yours and those of others—is to change the way you behold them."<br />
<br />
"God is in the sadness and the laughter, in the bitter and the sweet. There is a divine purpose behind everything—and therefore a divine presence in everything."