Sailors Wife

I miss him so much sometimes. I feel like my life is a pale grey place without him and that everything i do or accomplish is just another way to pass the time until he comes back.

a lot of the time I can push this off and live happily and independently but sometimes I can't- like tonight! I also feel really bad because I went out with some friends and had a really great time and just drank to much and danced at a fun risque band- the band members are very um.... provocative and dont mind showing skin - I didn't do anything wrong or immoral or even pay attention to any men there - but i know i wouldn't have acted like that if he was around and it makes me sad. He is a peaceful calming person and I feel like i let him down for some reason by going out as though I was some wild child. I'm too old to be acting like that and I know it.

sigh.

I just hope that eve though he knows I went out and had a great time that he knows he can still trust me. I'm going to try to avoid such situations in the future.

venetia venetia
26-30
Mar 8, 2009