My Memories

hi my name is becky, i met this guy 27 years ago, i was 15 he was 19, we didnt really like each other too much, just friends. then we just kept dating,and eventially we got married, he had gotten in to drinking alot, i just couldnt live in that kind of life,we had 2 beautiful children,i left him alot, and the childern really grew up to not know thier dad,we married and divorced 2 times.we had seperated the longest period for 8 years, all the time we were, i knew in my heart "i loved him" i knew God had put us togeather.so we had gotten back togeather. the childern were about teenagers by then, all my leaving him, really damaged thier relationships. i had left him so much. i never realized it when i was doing it.any how his name was tony, the drinking was a disease.i also didnt know that at the time. the times we were a (family) we really loved each other.we had a nice life, home, everything.but the drinking got so bad.i was kinda forced to leave, i didnt want to go again, by this time we had our first grand-son.but i left.i made it on my own again.we talked every night, it was like he had to tell me goodnight every night, and that he loved me. that was fine,i  loved it! then by this time we was seperated for 4 years, but talked every day, and night. he lost every thing when i had left, they forclosed on our home, he had 2 car accidents, one he had broken his neck.it was the worst low point in his life i had ever seen. it was like he had given up on everything.he had even quit work.he sunk deeper and deeper in the bottle. he was only 46 at this time.well he had gotten him a girlfriend, she drank as much as he did, he still always called every night to say "i love you'and he'd apoligise for alot of things he had felt bad doing to me over the years.well one late saturday night at 9:50 pm. he called to talk and at the end of the conversation he'd say goodnight i love you,in the back ground some guy had came in, tony said come on in Don, get you a seat.i kept trying to let tony off the phone to visit with his company, he'd insist talking to me. well i finally told him goodnight and i love you. i went to bed. well, that very morning i got a knock at my door,it was tony's 2 neices, whom never came over before. they said sit down we got some bad news, my heart dropped, i felt sick.started trembling.they said tony had been shot and killed.i kept telling them over and over,that they were wrong because i had just talked to him.they left, i remembering getting in my car, my foot on the excelerator was shaking so bad, and didnt stop untill i had gotten over my daughters house. my younger daughter was there also. i broke the news. it was the worst day of my life.i guess what i am trying to say in all this is, i loved tony so much, when he died, he took a part of me with him.i had wished i would have never ever had left him. i had damaged us all. i dont want any pity at all, i just want people to know. cherish what you got while you got them.it burnes in my mind"come on in Don get you a seat" it will be 2 years january 16, since he left us, i miss him dearly,i read all these "i miss my husbands"stories.well, you guys really do love your husbands.may God bless each and every one of you.we dont know why Don(just an aquaintance of tonys) did that and then killed himself.only God does. but God will always have his precious arms wrapped around him. i will see him one day soon, then i will have answers. please cherish what you got while you got them.lots of love sent, becky
beckyb14 beckyb14
41-45, F
1 Response Aug 21, 2007

ur story really touched my heart .. it must be really hard not knowing what happened but atleast his in a better place . im sure he loved u as much as u love him . and he wouldnt want u to feel any pain .