Today has been a little worse. I went christmas shopping so I have been thinking about how hard it will be without him.....I hate that he'll be away. Yesterday we talked about a lot of stuff. He knows I have alwasy wanted to foster but he has always said never, he won't do it. Yesterday though we had a bit of a heart to heart and he realised for the first time just how important it is for me to follow this dream..he is seriously going to consider it. It's when he does these things and says these things that I realise just how much I miss him. Being alone at nights is the worst ever, now I have even started to let my cat share my bed so we can keep each other company. I just can't wait for him to come home so I can wrap my arms around him and hold him close to me...I miss his smell, his smile, his laugh.........I miss him.