Ms. Maragret A Barras

My Mother passed away over the holidays. I am now left with this strange emptiness that I just can't explain. As her only child, I am in shock that the closest person to me, who really knew me and loved me without condition is gone. I have no siblings outside of my Fathers children who I did not grow up with. It was always My Mother and I. I learned she became sick all of a sudden just before the Christmas holiday's and immediately flew got on an airplane to see about her.

Although my Mother was a 65yo retired teacher, she was more active than me and knew how to live. She was educated, independent and assertive person who continued to teach part time at the local Community College and as a Real Estate agent. In between time she would travel and could not be still.

Once I arrived at the hospital, I became painfully aware that this was more than the simple anemia and infection that was initially diagnosed. When the final biopsy came back, she was already in stage 4 of uterine cancer.

Originally when I traveled to her, I was going to take FMLA to see about her and get her back to health. My Mother was not the type of person to depend on anyone, but she would always count on me. When I flew back home to get the paperwork into my job and round up my family to travel back to her it was Christmas Eve the same day she was sent home for hospice care, and to make her more comfortable.

Christmas Day came and I SKYPED between my home and hers so she could see her grandchildren on Christmas Day. My entire family on her side was at her house and she was in the best of spirits and happy. I had a couple of projects that I needed to complete and transition to my team before leaving back to her that would prevent me from leaving until 12/29/2011.

On 12/28/2011, I received the phone call that I never wanted.... I'm sorry Tony, but your Mother passed today.

How could this happen? She was healthy and then all of a sudden she's sick, then dead in a few weeks! I was supposed to come back to take care of her, not bury her. I'm happy her illness was not drawn out where she would not be able to be the woman she was all her life, but I still didn't want her to leave me.

When it came to making the arrangements an astonishing strength came to me and my determination was about her final wishes. She always told me growing up that she did not want to be cremated, and a proper burial was too happen. I spared no expense, everything from the casket, programs and final resting place was top notch.

Understanding Funeral Directors are trained to deal with grief, they weren't ready for how particular I was on every detail. I had them review every spot available on the grounds until I found just the right location, then had them go back out with me four more times during different hours, on different days to make certain I was making the right decision that she would have wanted.

My cousin who is more like a Sister to me and next to me the closest to my Mother, helped pick out just the right outfit. You see, it was more important for me to treat her in death as she lived and acted in life, that I did not feel the pain, and when I did I got out of it quick.

The day of the funeral. The capacity of the chapel was 360 people and the attendance was standing room only. People came from far and wide to be there, from the educators she worked alongside years ago, students present and past, to family and the closest friends. There was no one there who my Mother did not have a close relationship to.

The service was great and people spoke extremely well of her personality, attributes, knowledge, friendship and spirituality. Even I shared words, I had this great prepared speech that when I got to the podium not one word was read from. I spoke from my heart instead and do not know how I was able to put the words together, but the grace of God made it ten times more meaningful and better than any prepared writing.

Now I am back home handling the final business affairs and the reality is setting in. My Mother is gone and I miss her, will never see her here on earth again and feel alone.
tbarras tbarras
1 Response Jan 20, 2012

Sorry your mom passed away.