I Miss My Mom

My mom died 2 years ago on April 30 2011 I was 10 at the time. I woke up that morning and everything was the way it usually was...until I went into my bedroom to get dressed. My mom was half way on the bed and making a wheezing sound and I called my step dad to make sure she was ok. She said that she couldn't breath and that she thinks that she will pass out. My mom was now lying on the floor as my step dad called 911. I was cradling her head and saying that everything was going to be ok. The paramedics came and tried to stabilize her while my sister and myself went to stay at our neighbors house. My step dad came back maybe 2 to 4 hours later and told me and my sister to back to our house and that my grandmother was there and his sister. I felt that something was wrong and my heart was pounding in my chest as I walked back to my house next door. I asked my grandmother what happened to my mom and she went to my room as I followed her and closed the door. Even though I was hoping that the answer would be no I asked if my mom had died and her answer was yes. I felt like someone ripped my heart out and broke it. My mom died from a pulmonary embolism which is when a blood clot blocks a main artery to the lungs. My mom's funeral and burial came and went. I live with my grandmother now. The memory of my mom lying on the floor and dying in front of me will never go away. A few months after my mom died my step dad went crazy and started doing bad things and yelling at my grandmother for nothing. My dad and I never had a good relationship but he started yelling at me and arguing with me the same year my mom died. And my mom's friend did and said bad things to me and my grandmother late last year. All of the people who I thought would be there for me did nothing but anger and disappoint me. One saying has gotten me through everything I have been through "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
staystrong16 staystrong16
16-17, F
5 Responses Jul 16, 2013

I am so sorry, you keep the strength up luv XOXOXO

My cousin died that same year in June but of a car crash with a semi truck and his friend passed a way with him. Both instantly. Just a few days after his birthday. It really is sad and I've just come to hate myself and feel really sad about him and everything and since I hate myself because I didn't give him the hug that I could've given him and that puts so much hate on myself but I am now MUCH stronger and that saying is very true :) To help me in my situation, this saying has helped me: I would rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not

I have become more POSITIVE about my life and every situation :) There is always some positivity in EVERYTHING. Even death... you can get through it :)

I LIVE for positivity and it has become my passion :) It is absolutely the best feeling. Positivity is VITAL for living :) It helps to lead a better life in every way

I am so sorry to read this. It might not help your hurt but you have to
realize all the people you thought were strong when you were little even though they are adults have their weaknesses and a death of one so young is really hard to bear. You have learnt about life the hard way and at a young age. You need help and support and I hope you can forgive those who have seemed to be cruel to you. I am sure there are lots on e p who want to help and support you. It's a hard life - I am sorry again. Sending you love and strength. With best wishes.

So sorry about your mom. I miss my mom too. I like to think that I have gained a guardian angel. I bet your mom will always be looking out for you..she is now your guardian angel.

Thank you. I believe that my mom is watching over my little sister and myself. I'm sorry to hear about your mom.

I am very sorry to hear this. You really miss your mother, and it's difficult living without one. But life goes on. I'm not sure if you believe in God or not, but I believe that the body might die, but the soul lives on. Still, you've gotten through the worst already, it might be still bad, but nothing builds strength more than wear and tear, right?

Thank you for your nice comment. I do believe in God and I believe that my mom is in Heaven. Again thank you for your nice comment I appreciate it.

Make her proud!