My mother a beautiful spirit, always a smile, her laughter, embarrassed me when I was a kid but I loved it so much as I got older. I lost her after a 6-year cancer fight on the night of Mother's Day, May 13th, 2013. I didn't even get to talk to her that day we played phone tag.. When I got her cell later she had listened to my voicemail but not my sister's. She had spent the day with my step dad's family and the two days prior with her mom, siblings, my sister and me. I've been told how lucky we were to spend the time with her, I just wonder if it caused her passing. To much excitement & rushing around. There was a moment two days prior that she just hugged me and didn't want to let go, the day before I held her hand as we walked, her blue eyes bearing into me, seeking out peace. Asking if it was ok for her to leave. She knew. She knew, I feel she knew. I feel like I gave into her request to leave by finally opening my own eyes to her frail state the few months prior. Just realizing how much she'd have to overcome. Everything was doable until January 2013, her health shifted for the worse. She was a fighter though. Always strong. She was a junior high teacher and taught the Wednesday before she passed, just a month shy of school ending and when we were going to through her a party for her new medical retirement. She had such dreams and excitement for her projects when she would have free time . Now those projects sit unfinished because there doesn't seem to be a point. The enthusiasm just feels lost. I miss my mom. I feel I'm in denial most of the time as it was just not an option to have her be gone.
Kim906 Kim906
31-35, F
3 Responses Aug 22, 2014

I love you Mom!

Hello there, sorry about your mum, I understand that you miss her.
Keep her in your mind, remember the lovely things you did together and the good times .
If you would like to talk I am here.

my mom passed too taht way. u wanna chat msg me