Small Tribute......

My mom passed away in the hospital after 58 agonizing days in the hospital dying of bone cancer.  I am not going to bore you with the details, etc, but I found this group and wanted to share my story, I don't know if anyone will read or care and it doesn't matter.......but below is the Eulogy I wrote and gave at my moms funeral....One of the hardest things I ever have done.....I gave this with a clear crisp voice...I never broke down, I never cried ( I'm crying now though)...when I finished people stood in the church ( I have never seen that at a funeral ever) I have had over 200 requests from friends, family and strangers for a copy......I was asked how could you give that speech about your mother and my answer is always the same......it isnt' hard to do things when the things aren't about you.....and you are doing them for someone else.....also God was at my side......I hope if you read the below, please understand this was written for  a specific time and place and I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense...........thank you.

Momma’s Gift August 31, 2006   With your permission and patience I want to speak for just a few minutes today. Over the past four weeks since Mom went into the hospital some things have happened that I would like to share with all of you wonderful people who are here supporting our family. –—   First thing I want to tell is something you already know       and that is my Mom loved to give people things. All kinds of things. . .         sometime it was a Coke. . . a meal. . . a cold beer,       sometimes it was other things like a good cussin’. . . whether you felt like you needed it or not. But for most of my life my Mom gave me and my family different things. . .       like unwavering support,       knowledge that she was proud of us,       and most of all, knowledge that we could always go to her anytime for anything. But Momma gave me something special the last four weeks of her life. She gave me a lesson and a gift that has changed my life.   The past four weeks I have learned so much from watching my Dad and Mom.   I used to think I knew when things were hard. I really thought that being 45 years old I had an understanding of what “hard” was. I now have a new understanding.   Let me try to explain. . . .   Hard is watching two people who love each other beyond description try to take care of each other, both so concerned about the other that neither worries about themselves. Hard is seeing in their eyes and faces the abundance of hope that things are going to get better, then seeing that hope slowly begin to fade, and finally see it replaced by unbearable pain and fear. . . . Hard is seeing your Mom hold her new granddaughter, watching the realization in her eyes that she won’t see that baby’s first birthday. Hard is knowing that your dad is watching the love of his life in utter pain and agony, knowing that she is dying a horribly slow death. Hard is seeing one of the strongest men you’ve ever known in your life reduced to tears and misery, becoming crushed beneath the awful realization that there is nothing more that he or anyone else can do. Hard is knowing you never told your Mom enough times that you loved her.   So now when I think I’m having a hard day or that something is hard. . . because of Mom and what has transpired. . . I now know what in life is really hard.   But out of this hardship, many of us were treated to a great gift.   I was truly blessed to witness how much love and joy Mom and Dad had for each other. There is not a strong enough word to describe their bond and the obvious feelings they had for one another. We all should hope to experience those feelings of love in our lives. The kind of love that causes a woman in agony to smile at the sound of her husband’s voice. . .   The kind of love that makes his heart jump and eyes smile just because she squeezes his hand.   So this is the gift I received and I hope by sharing just these mere words with you, that from this day forward you will tell your family that you love them more often.       I know that I will.   Also, should you ever be faced with these circumstances, Know that you will have my family and many friends who understand and who will come to your aid. –—   I appreciate everyone for allowing me to share these thoughts. In closing, on behalf of my family, I want to thank everyone who came today and all those whose provided help and support over the past few months.   I also want to convey thanks and appreciation to the ******** Fire Department and to the community and people of ********. I don’t have the vocabulary or oratory skills to put into words what all the things you have done has meant to my family, and especially my dad. I don’t have all the details but what I know is that very many people gave of their time, their labor and their money to help out my parents. I cannot describe how it feels to know that people will come together and give this much “love. . . time. . . and money” for no other reason other than they just wanted to help.   I have always been proud to have the name of P*** and to be from *********, but because of what you and the other people of this community have done, proud just doesn’t seem to be a strong enough word. Please know that my dad and our family truly and deeply thank you for your kindness, support and blessings.   Thank you.

 

cap1015 cap1015
46-50, M
2 Responses Mar 20, 2009

A truly moving memorial! It shows that men can be honest about their feelings in the light of such a deep enduring loss.<br />
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Really moved me as well. Your never really ready for the loss of a parent, but you showed great dignity and honor.<br />
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Thank you for sharing.

It's a very beautiful Eulogy you wrote for your mom, Cap. I love it a lot. It's very touching...very sad but also very meaningful. Thank you for sharing that with us.