Mommy I just want to say that I miss you a lot. Especially right now . I know you can see me crying , I know you can see how long I've been unhappy. I just don't know who will ever love me like you did . Who will pray for me like you did ? It's already too much that I feel so lonely and I still don't have a man by my side so I cry a lot. I think a mans love will somehow give my life purpose , especially when I become a mother myself. I just know what to do . Your death was the worst thing that happened to me. I always dreaded the day I would be away from you , maybe when I was done with college and started to live on my own but your death is what separated us. Not seeing you everyday is painful. Everyday I go out , whether to college or wherever and pretend that I'm okay . I already had a difficult and stressful and depressing life even before you left us , I'm even more of a mess now. It just all doesn't make sense to me. I don't understand how you could leave us knowing we had no close relatives nearby. In my dream you asked me if I miss you and I really do. I'll forever be lost without you in my life. Your death has left the biggest void in my heart and being. I'll never be the same again. All I want is a prayer, a hug or a smile from you. It's not enough to say you're memory lives on in my heart . I still needed a mother even if I was rude or bad like any typical child . I still needed you. You know I had a problem of struggling to sleep , it's because I worry about everything . I think where the future will lead me. But now having to face the reality of you not being a part of my future. That's just too much . Your child misses you dearly . I feel very alone . Holidays are useless and mean nothing . Birthdays mean nothing without you there. You made the best food . I just don't know if I can even be fully happy with things yet to come if you aren't there. I'm sorry for being a bad person that deserved to have my own mother die in my arms. My hearts broken. It really is
Juiceyangel333 Juiceyangel333
26-30, F
28 Responses Nov 17, 2014

That just brought many tears to my eyes, I lost my mum in December and it's killing me inside

I know how you feel , big hug and I'm sorry your mommy is gone

Sending hugs back, no one to give me a cuddle anymore :-(

Life is just that much harder without a mother

I just want to let you know that God is with you and he will give your Mom back to you. In the Bible it speaks about the resurrection of the dead and your Mother will be back. I want you to pray and pour out your heart to God and just be honest with him. He will answer you when you call upon him. I'm hear to let you know that my prayers are with you. God bless you.

Thank you

Your very welcome. God bless you! Remember he loves you and he loves your Mother. This is not the end,but only the beginning of eternal life.

Hello you may not know me but I read your story and almost cried myself I have lost my mother over 16 years ago due to ALS the same disease that killed Lou Gehrig hey great baseball player in the past time and was pretty good from what I heard anyhow continuing on with my life, I read the story and cried I was 31 years old when my mom passed away.
So what I have to tell you is no matter how long it has been since your mom has passed away the pain is always going to stay with you not know it hurts to think about it even when your mom has passed away many years ago so just keep up the good spirits and you probably will see a lot of your mom in the children that you raise today.

Well I prayed for if that helps

Thank you

Your welcome

Sorry for your lost

My mom passed 7 months ago. I can totally understand how you feel. She and I were like two peas in a pod. She knew how much I loved her and I know how much she loved me. Take comfort in knowing she's watching over you now. My family and I aren't close so with her death I lost my "real family", everyone else is so distant. You just gotta get out there and make a life for yourself. Everyone thought I wouldn't be ok with her gone and I am ok and strive to find happiness inspite of my family. She's in a better place and I'd rather her be where she is now than be here suffering like she was. Take care of yourself that's what your mom would want.

Please add me to your circle and send me a hello, so that we can talk more

She hears you. She loves you. She will always be there for you. She will know everything that happens for you. She will be there to celebrate your joys and your sorrows. Love this deep is never broken. It's just enters another plane. Feel wonderful to have had such a great mother. Feel lucky and blessed. I am sure if she could tell you right now, she would tell you to live a full and rich life for her. So that she can have joy and celebrate in your successes. Trust that she is always there for you and begin to create that joyous life that you know she would want you to have. God bless you

This is so on point on how i feel. I lost my mom nearly a year ago and I miss her more than anything. I am so lost without my mom.... I was only 22 when she left me

I completely understand your pain and I'm sorry your mom left you in the way she did . I was also 22 when my mom died and even today I still think about her a lot , the tears come more often than I expected . It's really too much to bear most of the time

Awwwwww <33

This broke my heart. I am so sorry :(

Hugs to you, It will get better, it just takes time. Take it at your pace. She is watching over you.

I'm so sorry for your heart wrenching pain! I can relate to losing a parent/s and I can also relate to dysfunctional families and abuse. No one should have to endure such things!, but alas...they do. Please know that you are not alone and there are people (like me) out there who want to love and support you. I hope you're hanging in there, even though it is so incredibly difficult! Message me if you ever feel like talking. I'm glad you're writing about it on here!

Think others just get irritated by my constant whining

No one likes 'constant whining', (of course!) and you need to honor your mom by making YOUR life the best it can ( now ) be. Try that.

And later you will feels calm . Trust me. only GOD is a good listener

I feels sorry about you. I know it tough... Pray for her and tells to GOD that you miss her a lot. GOD is the best place to rely on.

dear friend,
i can't even begin to imagine how hard it can be to lose a mother.. it's so cruel you have to feel this way..
but everything that has a beginning has an end my friend.. whether natural or abrupt, we don't have the means yet to control it..
but I feel so devastated.. I felt terribly broken after reading your lines..
there's one thing you have to know.. your mother has NOT left you.. she's right there with you as you're crying for her.. for your loss of peace..
but that is not where she longs to be my friend.. she longs to move on.. to continue with her spiritual progress..
the same goes with all of us my friend.. we're all spiritual beings having a human experience.. you have to understand that everything you see or don't see, everything around you and beyond, are only temporary.. it's nearly impossible to learn to accept that.. but it is the truth..
it could be effing easy for me to say this.. my parents are very much alive (although right now, them being alive or dead won't make much of a difference)..
but know the truth my friend.. your mother needs to move on.. let her go.. find peace.. accept the truth.. she was with you all these years, honing you in a great person and you should put those lessons she gave you to use by taking care of yourself, being smart in finding the right partner, and make her proud..
when she's convinced you can do all this, and only when she is, can she move on..
so you think this is the end? no! you are one with your mother eternally! you will meet her when your time has arrived my friend..

you just have to read this book by Dr. Michael Newton, Phd.
it's called "Journey Of Souls".
I do insist many people to read it because, it is the key to EVERY SINGLE THING you ever wanted to know about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING.

You'll be able to teach me new things if you read it. Everyone finds an answer in that book, the way I surmise.

It is like a giant formula to reality. no one realises this. not even Dr. Michael Newton I don't think so. It was his purpose to impart the wisdom that transpired from his mind boggling research into certain carefully selected human minds and he documented his discoveries.. which are only a pin ***** in an ocean.

It's on google. "Journey of Souls" by Dr. Michael Newton PhD.

you wanted consolation and I'm recommending a book. could be rather unpleasant in certain ways, I'm sorry. But I read your post today for a reason. and it's my purpose to impart this knowledge to you.

you touched my heart and I cried after reading just a few lines of your post. I can't imagine how hard it could be. but you're not alone my friend, your mother is with you.. but she longs to move on, and you should help her by demonstrating will power. she will but refuse to move on because she loves you. but it lies in your sturdy conviction that oyu will be alright.
you don't have to forget her. No one ever said that. you don't have to stop crying or grieving over her loss. but be strong and move on my friend.. you don't have to be cold.. but you have to move on, with her in your heart.. so that she can be sure you are gona be alright..

I'm effectorprime(at)yahoo(.com). me and my wife are always there for you. you are NOT alone and you will be loved by us the way your mother did. please be alright. please please please.. peace

Moving on? When it happened last year? I appreciate your words but until you've had your mother die in your arms please don't act like you know how it feels . It's hard to move in from a break up etc so what more moving on from something as permanent as losing the person that gave birth to you. She was my core , my foundation and I just lost her ... It's easy for you to say move on as if nothing happened but every single thing reminds me of her ... I still needed a mother . Even if I look like this tough person on the outside , I'm still a child . I still needed her advice and mentoring . I can't trust anyone , I've detached myself from people . My mom was all I had that could guide me through all life's complications without having bad intentions . I'm more than vulnerable . A mothers love can't be compared to no other ... So I can't move on and I take offense in what you said . There's still many things that I wanted her to be a part of ... So if I move on now it will be bad to think she is forgotten when I would've really liked her to attend my graduation , my wedding ... To meet her grand kids but she won't be there!!! So I can't move on hey .... I'm still reeling in grief , I'm still a child and I walk around like a zombie because the worst thing imaginable happened to me. No one understands the extent of my pain and hurt ... Nobody understands how unfair this all is ... I cry a lot and I can't forget my best friend like that

I am sorry for your loss. That said, try going to grief counseling and/or having a therapist to talk to. YES, you lost your Dear Mom way too young in your life, but please don't act like you are the only one who has suffered this.
You are not alone--everyone on the planet has or will go through this same , terrible loss. good luck.

adopt her positivities and be in present.

Hi, after heared u..... I realise the situation of one, who lost her own mother. It's really too bad....
Now I'm too far from mom... for my higher studies and job... Mom daily call me and ask about food and health......The special one is mom always asks the same thing again and again..how r u? and had ur food or not?.....in that reason.....
sometimes I angry with her...
I can't realise her motherly love....
Till before I hear you..... but now I understand it and....you should realise that everyone should pass the situation at onece....
Thanx..... for give a chance to understand motherly love.......

you think that's gona help her? dude!

I lost my mother to suicide nearly 30 years ago, when I was 20 and pushing her away to establish my own independence. She may have thought that I didn't need her -- certainly I acted as if I didn't. But I always did need her, especially now that I have my own children who want to see her.

Yeah my children won't meet their gran

Sorry dear for your loss. I missed my mom too who passed away 2 years ago. I understand how you feel and I hope you will be strong always.

I also miss my mom always all time but I cant meet him because she lived in himachal Pradesh n me Greater Noida no holiday in my duty m so alone n so sad what I do I cant take to any way.

I can totally relate to that. It's ok to be sad and It's good to write your thoughts down. I started to write a diary for my mom. I write everything that I would tell her personally.
It kind of helps.
please be strong. Your mom still worries about you and you don't want her to be sad right?
I know it's so so hard to "move" on but try to keep the good memories and start living. she wants you to live a beautiful and happy life

So sorry for your loss and hear you are suffering. I just lost my Mom 2weeks ago & I also have a lot of pain & sadness. But I believe I am older than u & Mom survived 90 yrs. She was still healthy & independent but had dementia. She passed very suddenly in my arms. I am grateful to have had the last 7 mos. w/her while she lived w/ me. It still hurts terribly because she was my closest friend & relative.I can't say I would know how much pain u must be feeling having had less time w/ your Mom. But I can say that U are not alone. She is still close by if you keep talking to her... Tell her everything U talked about while she was w/ U. Time will heal wounds & heartaches. Take this advice from this older gal... I have experienced a lot of heart aches.Try to find support groups... W/ other's going thru the same thing...I hope to do the same. It really helps to be around other people going thru the same thing as you. I've done support groups before... They helped me get thru some tough times.Thinking of you and standing by you. We can help each other. I'm here for U ... Sweet Angel.

I'm very sorry for your loss. On the 17 of this november my mother died 9 years ago. It's not an easy feeling. When our mother's have been there for us it's very difficult. You see them when you're born and they stay with you. When that time comes when you have to say goodbye that's when life becomes the hardest to live.

My mom walked out on me when I was a toddler...

That is really sad . Did you meet her again

Yes. She was hooked on meth. So she would come dry out and leave...repeat that for years. Then finally she left when I was 12 for good.

I'm so sorry

Thanks! I am still in recovery over my heart being broke

That's a sad situation. I hope you found support while growing up. It's not easy to have a parent like that. My mother use to drink a lot. I know how that life is like. I hated it, but I found my way in life. I learned to live. I live a healthy life and I also stopped drinking in 1996. Take care.

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I'm so sorry you're in so much pain, Angel. I lost my mother last year & didn't get to see her, touch her, or two her I love her one last time. I talked to her on the phone, but I don't know if she was even still here. Please, know that if you want to, you can message me anytime. I'm a pretty good listener...

i think she's just being patient.. waiting to see u happy.. because i think thats what'll make her happy

I lost my mom 4 years. Time does make it a lil easier to get through the days, Holidays, her birthday and mothers day does make it tough. However, I have had many clear signs she has been around when I asked. To many to list here and I am very skeptical person. So I went out of my way to debunk every one and I couldn't Those signs even affected other people on a particular day. Ask for a sign, be open, talk to her. she is around you. I honestly believe there is somthing more after we die. I will see her and many others again. I am not even religious.

It's a good thing to tell them that you love them every day. I had a dream about her the other day. I was so happy, but sad to wake up and find out it was a dream. When I get this feeling of wanting to call her I do. I dial the number and it rings. When the operator comes out saying that number is not in service it heals me. At least I got to give that call. It's therapeutic. If you feel like crying do so. You can't keep sadness inside. You will feel better.