My Mom Gave Up.

My mother had been out of work for a few years. She suffered from depression and was an alcoholic. Over the past 7 or 8 months, she really seemed to give up on life. She stopped eating and bathing. She wouldn't tend to our animals and let the house become incredibly filthy. She refused to let my sister and myself take her to a doctor. I came home 2 weeks ago and found her in her bed. She was clearly dead, and it appeared that she had vomited blood all over her bed. Her siblings blame my sister and myself for her death, and are trying to take her belongnings. The bank is also taking the house, so I'll be homeless soon. My life is falling apart. I could care less about the house. I just want my mommy back. My heart is broken. She was only 55.
9 Responses Jul 13, 2010

I don't know its been really rough. I have to clear out the house and throw away most of my Mother's and my possessions because the bank is taking everything in the next 2-3 weeks. It feels like tossing out my life. A friend offered for me to move in with him but he lives 400 miles away. It sounds tempting though. A clean slate. And SaltBucket is fine. Its funny.

Make that BucketofSalt... not SatBucket... lol... sorry... : )

How is it going SaltBucket? Thinking of you...

Hey sweetie, I lost my mom 7 years ago and I still miss her, so be prepared for a lifetime of missing!!! It never gets better, you just somehow get used to it. <br />
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Advice? Focus only on taking care of yourself and your sister... the best way you can. <br />
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Thank you everyone. I really appreciate it. I need people like you guys to help keep me sane.

Oh A I feel for you, so sorry you have lost your mum this way, and she being so young. It may only be two weeks ago but every day seems a life time, when you are grieving.<br />
Your mothers family, should be more charitable towards you and your sister, if they are saying you could have done more ... where were they, what help where they giving your mother?<br />
I wish you the best of luck for the future, and please don't beat yourself up over guilt... it was your mothers life, and she did what she wanted, it wasn't the right way but she would want you to move on.<br />
You will go through different emotional feelings, anger, guilt, sorry etc, and that is good, it's working through your grieve, stay strong....[[[[hugs]]]].S

I can't believe it has only been two weeks, you are so strong. I don't think I knew which way was up when it had only been two weeks. You're right... you will never get over it... but it will get easier, I promise. Your Mom wants you to be happy and to succeed in life, so one day, when it hurts a little less, remember that and start to move forward, just a tiny bit at a time. You should definitey do something for her birthday! But you dont need to spend money! : ) Write her a letter, talk to her, pick flowers for her... put on some music and sing and dance for her! :) <br />
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As for the debt, make sure you are talking with someone you trust who is great at finances or a lawyer, you should not be responsible for this! My parents weren't great with finances either, so one day look in to dave ramsey, just google him, he can help!! : )

Thank you so much for your kind words. Its only been two weeks, so everything is still very hard. I have a job but its only part time. Luckily though, my bosses are being very understanding and have given me a few more hours a week. I can't stop thinking about her, and how I wish I could have saved her. When I close my eyes I can still see how she looked when I found her. I don't think I'll ever be able to get over it. Her birthday is coming up. I'd like to do something for her, but she left us with so much debt I doubt I'll really be able to afford anything. But I need to do SOMETHING. Whatever it is, as long as there's plenty of 70's and 80's dance music, I think she'll be happy and proud. She was awesome.

I am so sorry you have to go through all of this. You are so young and do not deserve to deal with this madness. Your Mom, I am sure, loved you and your sister very much, she just didn't know how to express it in a responsible and adult fashion. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT! You will survive this and you will succeed. Your Mom being sick and her awful sibings do not define you as a person. One step at a time... find a cute little apartment you can make home, find a job, go to school. Do everything you can to create a routine and balance in your iife. <br />
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I lost my Mom 11 years ago... she was 59. You can make it through this.