My Mother.

I'm just 15 and I miss my mom a lot. She passed away of a sudden heart attack in 2008 and shewasn't ill, wasn't sick, nothing...it was so sudden and...insensible and unexpected. I don't know why God did it to us. I have a younger brother who looks just like her. She was very talented, and could make us both laugh just like that. I really wish she was around. Sometimes I make mistakes and do things the wrong way, and I know she wouldn't be happy with me, which upsets me even more. My dad's cool, he's a great and loving guy, he tries his best..but it's just not good enough. And I never get along with him, though I try. I always ***** about him behind his back, not because I don't love him, but he gets too strict with us, and it wouldn't be that way if mom was around. For me, the worst part is thinking that I'm slowly forgetting her day by day. The smell of her, her laugh and her jokes and the things we used to do together. That makes me hurt more than her death, actually. We were both really close and though she was never as open as my dad, we did talk about a whole lot of things, from my brother to my dad and her family and everythhing under the sun. We got along really well, and I don't just mean it 'cos she's gone. We fought some times and we were both really stubborn people, lol, thinking of it makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time. The worst part is, I love my mom;s family a lot, but my relationship with them has just been steadily deteriorating, especially since I took my dad's side when he got his new girl friend and started moving on in life. They were really orthodox and expected him to mourn forever. Now, my mom's three older brothers barely care for me at all, and it hurts a lot....The first was the closest to me, and has been with me through my entire life, and all of a sudden he doesn't care about me. He didn't call to wish me for my birthday this year. The thing is, they ARE wrong, I acknowledge that. My dad has to move on ,and I couldn't bare to see him like that, he was so miserable, crying and moping around...our house had died with my mother, and we saw no hope left...My dad never wanted to remarry, but now he's fallen in love again and things are so different. Sometimes I feel guilty I mean, what would mom say, but then mom's not around anymore and dad has to live, he couldn't just die with her....But my uncles are wrong, nad I've sided with my dad and now because of that, my uncles really don't care about me...My second uncle and I don't look at each other's faces anymore, let alone anything else, and though I know they don't sdeserve it for the way they've treated me, I mean, come on, they have a plroblem with my dad but that doesn't mean they mess around with me and ignore me, just for wanting my dad to stop crying ,I mean come on! Again, all my problems in life are because she isn't there any more..She'd know what to d oand what to say to them. I wish she was there. I used to tell her like EVERYTHING, 9except when I got bad marks, lol, then she'd murder me, hehe! That's when dad came in the picture... :) ) I miss those days and wish I could see her just ONCE MORE.......
dalenal dalenal
13-15, M
Aug 13, 2010