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I Miss My Mommie

When I was four years old, my mother had loss her year long battle against lung cancer. She had worked in a factory where asbestos was exposed, she of course did not know that. She struggled a lot, and I can only imagine the pain of the cancer and treatment. The pain of knowing she would die and leave all that she knew must of been harder, as she was only 34 years old. She and my father had just married nearly five years prior to her death, as well as having her first and only child, me.

Family and friends of my mom had always told me that the one goal in her life that she was so proud of completing was having a daughter, and I am so happy that I was born then, as I had an amazing four years to share with my mother. Because life with her was short, people often assume that I do not miss her, and they think that I can not remember her, and that hurts me. I remember many things about her, and I miss her so much, and can sometimes never stop the tears.

She was beautiful, the brightest blue eyes, and a gorgeous smile, I am so grateful when people say I am an exact replica of her. She was the type of person who could brighten up anyone's day just by speaking. My family says that she was witty and smart, and always said what was on her mind. I aspire to be her each and everyday, and I know she would be so proud of how my dad and I are doing.

Somedays I can look at her picture and smile, and think of how great she was, but on other days, I can cry for hours on end because I feel as though someone has ripped out my heart. I recently had one of the hardest cries since she has left, and had worked up enough strength to tell someone about it (as usually I keep it all to myself) I told my father and all he said was "I know you miss her sweetie, but there's nothing we can do." he is the type of man who never shows emotion, so I wasn't expected any more. On any other day, I would of left it at that, but it was hurting too much, I called my aunt (my mommies sister) and she talked me through the pain for about an hour. It feels good to finish a cry because I know my mom would hate to see me like this.

I have many things to remember her by, like pictures, clothing and little things, but one thing I love best is cards. Before she passed, in the hospital, she wrote be birthday cards, I have no idea how high she went as she gave them to my aunt and asked her to give me one each year on my birthday. This year I still got one and I am 15.

I will always love her, and never forget her. This is for you mommy, I love you.
Curiouskitty15 Curiouskitty15 18-21, F 23 Responses Jul 28, 2011

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Your mom died of lung cancer. i hate ciggrettes i never liked them i was about 14 when i had my first one... it was gross. im 14 and my mom is 41 she smoke a lot i telll her to stop but no she dosen't. im really worried because i have old parents. When they die i'll have no one left. i was sleeping but little thoughts kept poping up in my head about when they will die. i couldeint keep the thoughts out i prayed and prayed real hard wishing the thoughts would go away. i teared up i little bit, wanting to cry but i didn't want my mom hearing me cry.









I really would brake down if my mom died. i would cry and cry if she passed on. i always said to my self when i was ten " i'm gonna kill myself when my daddy and mommy die then i'll be with them!" now i want and don't want to kill myself.







i LOVE my mom forever and ever. i wanna have a good life and see all the stuff God has planned for me. For myself i don't wanna die and suffer like my uncle did.i wish dying nvr exsited. So we can live with the people who loves and cares for us. But life go's on with out stopping god made us this way and we should be thankful for what he gave us. We'll have to enjoy the ride to born to death well it lasts. R.I.P to her mother and bless all the souls that are in heaven.

My story is very similar to your's. My mom was 36 when she died, and I was only 6. My parents only had one child. Over the years, a lot of people have asked, "Do you remember her?" It gets annoying after a while. Just because I was very young during the short time she was in my life, doesn't mean I don't remember anything. Like kids don't have brains, and don't remember anything? Everyone says I look exactly like her, and I have a lot of her personality traits as well. It's been 26 years, and it definitely hasn't been easy without her here. I'm sure it won't get any easier either.

I am sorry, if it helps, I lost my mother when I was 10 years old. Those days you are talking about , I have almost everyday , the pain does not go away. She also passed when she was 34. My mother is on my mind 24 hours. I cry until I cant cry anymore. It has been 20 years, and it still feels like yesterday. Her anniversary was yesterday. Been cry for one week and cant stop the pain. I am sorry. I know how you really feel. Especially about keeping it to yourself. Not everyone understands, that hurts me also. Only a person who has only really gone through can understand that it is not something that can be taken light at all. The older I get , the harder it gets, I am so jealous of moms and daughters when they are shopping together , makes me want to break down that same moment. I am here if you like to talk !

This is a beautiful story. I even cried a little.

My mom died from cancer when I was 7. I'm 26 and I miss her every day. I get so jealous when I see mothers and daughters together. I recently got married. I wanted my mom there so badly. It really sucks. I'm so sorry you lost your mom too.

My mom died from cancer when I was 7. I'm 26 and I miss her every day. I get so jealous when I see mothers and daughters together. I recently got married. I wanted my mom there so badly. It really sucks. I'm so sorry you lost your mom too.

I am sure your mom is proud of you and she would want you to be happy. Thanks for sharing.

Losing a loved one is very hard. something that demands you to stop and reflect on your life and those in it, and what is of importance to you and how you have lived your life up to that time.
Your heart will decide the depth of importance of the loved ones who are gone. It also decides the depth of heartache that you must bear for the loss.
I lost my closest friend and only brother on the 6th of Sept. 2011 while i was caring for him.
He was recovering from a impacted hernia and lung cancer and pnuemonia after loseing 40lbs. in 2 weeks.
One morning after breakfast he went to brush his teeth while i fed the cats and go the paper. While reading the paper he started coughing and coughing, Soon he was vomiting up blood and then it just came out in gushes. I called 911 and told them the addy. While i did this my brother went unconcious and fell over on the couch ( never to open his eyes again).
The operator asked me to do mtm but there was too much blood still coming out of his mouth and part of his throat lineing was out of his mouth. I was panicked and was yelling at the operator where were the medics!!!. Finally they came and immediately started suctioning the blood out of his mouth and doing cpr.
they had to cut the lineing off to start bagging him and took him to the ER. I followed after calling his wife.
They could not resuscitate him and he died in the OR.
i spent 64yrs. with him and was devastated . i have a HUGE hole in my life and miss him painfully!!!
Right now it is pure HELL , but i know i will go on in this life as best i can until i see him on the other side.
I am guilty of taking him for granted as though he would always be there. Now i do not take anything or anyone for advantage. I now look people in the eye when they talk to me all the time and do not ignore there presence.

I'm a retired anaesthesiologist, now 71 and retired almost 4 years. I lost both my parents whilst still a teenager, my father at 14 and my mother at 19. I can honestly say hardly a day has gone by after all these 50+ years that I have not thought about them. There was so much through all these years, through good times and bad that I would have loved to share with them, to seek their counsel in life situations, and to have them see me grow up and mature. They were not able to see me graduate from medical school. become a specialist anaesthesiologist, get married and have our children, and then watch me succeed in my profession. I would have loved to have had a father figure during my adolescence and even as a grown-up to have my Mum fuss over me in making sure I had enough food to eat and enough clothes to wear in winter. I think if you remain focussed in whatever goal you choose in life you will succeed despite the setback in not having your Mum. I wish you all the best.

very touching story....i love my mom...i am really blessed that my mom and dad both are with me.when i read your story , i could feel your pain. some wounds cannot be curred by time. i can see that your wound are still there in your heart. but these pains which you feel daily makes you stronger daily. it would help you further in your life when you will encounter odd situations.

its so touching to read your story .your mums with you always .i think you should go to a spirtiual church .if you belive in it or not .i did 5 years ago and never look back .the pain still there but its nice when you get a message from a loved one .god bless you

The one's we have lost are still with us, they are our guardian angels.

I lost the first and most significant love of my life last month. I had not communicated with her for years but ran across her obit on line. I was very sad to say the least. She was the prefect person. She cared about my feelings, had a perfect smile and such bright eyes. I do not know the details of how she died but I am sorry I will not see her again on this side. I always thought I would but now it sinks in I will not. I miss you Lois and will always love you.



Peter

Thank You and im very sorry to hear about your loss.

thank you that was beautiful

What caused me the most pain was the awful treatment my mother received at the hands of the NHS and their totally uncaring attitude. They even pinned a message to her front door telling her to sign the DNAR forms. Disgusting.

What caused me the most pain was the awful treatment my mother received at the hands of the NHS and their totally uncaring attitude. They even pinned a message to her front door telling her to sign the DNAR forms. Disgusting.

Kitty, my dear.



I know exactly how you feel. We have all lost people who were near and dear to us. The loss which caused me the most pain was that of my dear wife, nearly 14 years ago. I still miss her every day, but keep going by remembering the good times we had together - much the same as you do.



We have to get on with our lives and our loved ones would not expect anything else, but we will never forget. I'm not ashamed to admit I shed a few tears when I read your beautiful story and I admire your courage in talking about it.



The pain will go in time, Kitty, but the fond memories will last for ever.



I am thinking of you.

Kitty, my dear.



I know exactly how you feel. We have all lost people who were near and dear to us. The loss which caused me the most pain was that of my dear wife, nearly 14 years ago. I still miss her every day, but keep going by remembering the good times we had together - much the same as you do.



We have to get on with our lives and our loved ones would not expect anything else, but we will never forget. I'm not ashamed to admit I shed a few tears when I read your beautiful story and I admire your courage in talking about it.



The pain will go in time, Kitty, but the fond memories will last for ever.



I am thinking of you.

Thank you for sharing this.

I lost my mother when I was 10 - she's alive but a family tragedy plunged her into such depression that she has never recovered and from then on was incapable of being a mother, wife, friend or anything. It's very strange now, 35 years on, to have her alive but gone in every way that matters. Hold on to your happy memories of your mother. I wish you well.

Your story truly hits home. I lost my mother at a young age to cancer and I find myself balling my eyeballs out all the time. I cry just reading your post because I go through the same thing. Thanks for sharing this.

the only thing i can tell you is keep going like you are doing i understand u sweety me too i lost my mom 4 years ago i was 18 years ago you are going to say you were old but in any age we always need a mom she left me becuse of cancer too hard to bear her lost i got depressed my dad is like yours never express his emotions but life is carried on and i am happy tha peaple see me like her be proud

dearest Curiouskitty15!



i don't have words to tell you how brave you are in bearing all this at such a tender age....



i also lost my mother last year, she had breast cancer...now i am 25 and of course i miss her alot...she died in my arms..she suffered so much ....the pains ...the illness...

she developed cancer after my dad left us and married some other woman when i was eleven..since then mom looked after me and my two siblings...all by herself. ..



i was her only daughter and she loved me alot....



although i try to forget her illness as it gives grief, and i try to think that we all have to go one day...now she would be in the beautiful heavens i am sure about it....

but my study reminds me of her sufferings...as i am studying medicine....in every book, every chapter i cannot escape the stress...



after reading your story ...i have realized that there are girls like you who have lost their moms at such a tender age...you are the bravest among all of us...

i will pray for you daily..may you prosper all through your life...take good care of yourself...

like your mom would have done....although God has taken her from you but see...(a lesson which i also have to learn to carry on with my study)...when a person suffers illness...what does it affect? the body... right...but his/her soul is not affected by the illness...your mom's soul was a loving one and strong..see she wrote cards for you..she was so strong...and her soul is alive of course...its only her body that went away..her soul would be in heavens...be sure about it, you know , when a person dies of an untreatable disease...he/she becomes a martyr...and martyrs are not dead ...they are alive...all blessed...



its God's blessing that you dad is with you, your mom's sister is there...as i dont have both..of course they can't replace a mom...but still its good that you have them to get along..

have strong faith as you are a daughter to such a loving and brave mom:)

one day we all have to go from this world and meet our mothers:)

tc