I Miss My MommieWhen I was four years old, my mother had loss her year long battle against lung cancer. She had worked in a factory where asbestos was exposed, she of course did not know that. She struggled a lot, and I can only imagine the pain of the cancer and treatment. The pain of knowing she would die and leave all that she knew must of been harder, as she was only 34 years old. She and my father had just married nearly five years prior to her death, as well as having her first and only child, me.
Family and friends of my mom had always told me that the one goal in her life that she was so proud of completing was having a daughter, and I am so happy that I was born then, as I had an amazing four years to share with my mother. Because life with her was short, people often assume that I do not miss her, and they think that I can not remember her, and that hurts me. I remember many things about her, and I miss her so much, and can sometimes never stop the tears.
She was beautiful, the brightest blue eyes, and a gorgeous smile, I am so grateful when people say I am an exact replica of her. She was the type of person who could brighten up anyone's day just by speaking. My family says that she was witty and smart, and always said what was on her mind. I aspire to be her each and everyday, and I know she would be so proud of how my dad and I are doing.
Somedays I can look at her picture and smile, and think of how great she was, but on other days, I can cry for hours on end because I feel as though someone has ripped out my heart. I recently had one of the hardest cries since she has left, and had worked up enough strength to tell someone about it (as usually I keep it all to myself) I told my father and all he said was "I know you miss her sweetie, but there's nothing we can do." he is the type of man who never shows emotion, so I wasn't expected any more. On any other day, I would of left it at that, but it was hurting too much, I called my aunt (my mommies sister) and she talked me through the pain for about an hour. It feels good to finish a cry because I know my mom would hate to see me like this.
I have many things to remember her by, like pictures, clothing and little things, but one thing I love best is cards. Before she passed, in the hospital, she wrote be birthday cards, I have no idea how high she went as she gave them to my aunt and asked her to give me one each year on my birthday. This year I still got one and I am 15.
I will always love her, and never forget her. This is for you mommy, I love you.