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Will My Grief Ever Get Better???

My mom passed away almost 4 months ago. She had a heart attack Christmas night at my home. She fought for a few weeks and then finally passed on January 11th. She was the best mom, best friend, and the best grandmother anyone could ever ask for. My heart still aches and I am not sure that I will ever heal from this. I am grateful to have three beautiful children to give me purpose. They are the only reason I force myself to function. But, I am not happy. I feel horrible that I am so sad for my children. I want them to have a happy mom again. I am afraid that will never happen. I can't imagine living life without my mom... Everyone keeps telling me time heals all wounds. Of course this comes from friends who still have their parents. I just feel empty.
lisaf1024 lisaf1024 41-45, F 4 Responses May 6, 2012

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I lost my mom when i was 19, just about 8 months ago and i promise you it slowly gets better. its an emotional wound. with everyday a little skin grows back and eventually you'll have a nice scar. Just like a superficial wound it gets better but things will never be the same. This is what I tell myself everyday and i like to think it helps

My Mum died from a heart attack on 17 Nov 2002 as a result of complication of pancreatic cancer. This was nearly ten years ago now. The grief comes and goes however it nowhere near as raw as it was in late 2002 and much of 2003. I'm still very blessed to have my Dad. I feel my Mum with me a lot. You will miss of course your Mum very much however I do believe the grief will lessen for you with time. However take as much time as you need. Thank you for sharing such a personal story with us...(your mother will always stay with you in your heart)

I lost both my parents within 3 weeks of each other in the spring of 2010. You never forget, or get over the grief, but as time goes by my memories are more & more of the happy times and little idiosyncrasis (sorry for spelling) they had rather than their final days with us. Take care your Mom is watching over you.

My mother died the day after Easter four years ago, also of a heart attack. I'm so sorry for your loss and won't tell you it gets better with time.... but it did get different for me. the grief became less intense, less often. I try not to think of it as healing, because that implies one day it will all be better. For me, there are good days and bad, and more and more often when i think of her I am happy to remember her, instead of sad or angry that I lost her. I'm sure you still are dealing with shock as well as grief. Give yourself time. Know that your children are lucky to have a mother who loves enough to grieve this much. Reach out to people, and take happiness and support where you can.