Where Are You Going?

My mother died a year and a half ago. Today it feels as though she is slipping away from me. Her presence isn't so present. That makes me very sad. I miss her tremendously. Just last week I learned something new about myself, which led to a revelation about her, and that made her feel so close. It's odd to learn new things about someone who has died, because I want to share them and discuss them with her now, and it refreshes the memories related to the new fact. But then the aftermath is that she feels more distant, because we can't chew it over together. She has been by far the biggest influence on my life, bigger than anyone or anything else. So where are you now, Mummy? Where did you go? Why can't you send me a postcard? I hope someday I get to hear all the stories from this, your biggest and most recent trip. You've always loved to travel.
scibard scibard
36-40, F
2 Responses May 17, 2012

16muffin, I'm so sorry to hear that. I can't even imagine losing a mother that young. I'm in my late 30s and still feel robbed of time, guidance, etc. I'm sorry you lost your mother, and nothing can replace her or mitigate that loss. Hugs to you. I bet she'd be proud of you, more so than you are. :-)

i miss my mom 2....i lost her wen i was 14...i feel if she was here i would have been a much better person :(