I Feel The Pain Will Never End

My mother died last year. Just in saying those words tears run down my face. I can't stop them. Her death is the worst pain I've ever felt. I dream of her and I try to reach her, but as soon as I'm approaching her in that long dream where she's asking me to have coffee with her, I wake up. Then I remember she's dead, my chest tightens and I can't stop crying.

She lived a full life and was not young, but it is no consolation to me. It's callous to think mentioning a mother's age would console anyone I'm the throws of grief. I miss my mother and that's a fact. My father died in the 90s and with my mom's passing any semblance of family I had is gone. She was the last person to love me unconditionally and maybe just love me at all without an agenda. My mom was the keeper of my history. No one knows me past a few years now.

I love you and miss you mom.
Bluegirl19 Bluegirl19
31-35, F
2 Responses Jul 17, 2012

I empathize, especially since I've lost both of my parents recently. We had our ups & downs, but they were still my parents and I was their caregiver for the past 10 years...
Pls take a look at my profile, the consider adding me to your circle. Thx.

My condolences to you, i'm sorry for your loss.<br />
A Mother's love is the best in the world.<br />
Even tho in a family, the Mother's position is high but she does all the work in a family like a servant and loves all her children with unconditional love..<br />
Perhaps if you listen to newsongradio.com, i hope you will feel comforted..

Thank you, akidmum, I will try your suggestion. I appreciate your empathy. Lots of people don't understand the grief of losing their parents. It's like being orphaned in a way. The holders of your history are gone. You must stand alone and look to no one else who loves you unconditionally or without agenda. It's a painful process we must all accept at some point. So, thanks.