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My Guardian Angel

Where to begin...
My parents were married 53 years when my dad passed away in July 2003. He had a stroke and eventually died of congestive heart failure. Mom knew he was in poor health and knew it was a matter of time, but was devastated as most people are when they lose a loved one. I was concerned about her being alone, so at the age of 41 I moved back home. At times I felt like I was in high school again with her requests to "call me when you get there or if you will be late." I complied so she wouldn't worry although at times it was a pain in the ***.

In my early 20's, I was in a relationship that my family did not approve of so I didn't see them much over a 15 year period. Moving home brought me closer to my mom and for that i'm grateful. Everything was fine up until January of 2011. She couldn't pass the eye exam to renew her license. She gradually started showing signs of depression and drinking more.

On January 2, 2012 she fell and broke her back. That's the day my life changed drastically. I went from doing the shopping and occasional errands to a full time caregiver. I thought her increase in pain medication was causing hallucinations, but was told she had dementia. Now frustration, anger and fear was added to my physical and emotional draining days and nights. Her home care doctor put in a request for hospice. May 3, 2012 I spent my 50th birthday washing her bedding throughout the day. Hospice put her on liquid morphine on May 4th. I told her how much I loved her and will miss her but dad is calling for her. She didn't believe there's an afterlife and your spirit lives on. She passed away on May 6th.

On May 9th, something strange happened. I was gathering her clothes to give to charity and the dishwasher started running. I ran into the kitchen and stood there bewildered. Then I started to laugh, looked up and said "Oh now you know how to turn on the dishwasher." She didn't know how to work the new one we got. For someone who didn't believe in life after death, she sure made it clear to me that she is still around and watching over me.

The next emotional hurdle was my sister wanted to sell the house asap. The house i was born and raised in. The place that was home even when I didn't live there. I again did what I had to as difficult as it was I got through it. Now living with my bf in a small 1 bedroom apartment. Found an agent to help me look for a house to buy and everything I've seen hasn't given me that "this is the one" feeling until today. I put an offer on a house today. I am so dam excited I can't stand it! My agent is a godsend or I should say momsend. I truly think mom had something to do with us crossing paths. I met her at a 4th of July gathering and we both were drawn to each other.

Life is short. Remember to tell your loved ones how much they mean to you because they might not be here tomorrow. Those that have passed, keep them alive in your memories. If strange things happen it might be them paying you a visit. Don't be alarmed, embrace it!

LadyXy LadyXy 46-50, F Aug 11, 2012

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