My Mom... A Year And A Poem I Read At Her Grave

Mom. I don't go a day without a tear and a sigh.
I see your face with my doggy and a tear rolls from my eye,

You were my world, my best friend and my heart.
When you left me alone, I have fallen apart.

I didn't know how cancer could grab you away
And leave me struggling every single day,

I would give anything to have you back taking care of dad.
I wonder if there will ever be a day when I won't be sad.

For one moment I tried to join you in heaven"s gate.
But it was not my time to join you, not my fate.

I had a brief glimpse of peacefulness amongst the noise.
I won"t forget you crying and saying " I will miss my boys."

From the times you held my head when I was sick
To making my daily lunch for school not a better mother I could pick.

Where will I gather strength to go on each day.
My promise is to care for dad and others your way.

I wake up and it is another day, a week, month and now a year.
Can I make it another day, week or month that is my fear.

A baseball game, a dinner, a walk is only a moment in time
Till I am back home thinking of you again and again I am not fine.

Therapy, group sessions, drugs and pills take me to a land I fear.
All I want is to be in heaven with my mom who to me is so dear.

It is ok to cry, and to wonder why you were taken away.
You were my momma, I love you so much every single day.

Extinguish Extinguish
41-45, M
2 Responses Nov 26, 2012

I'm touched.. I lost my mother as well, but it's been awhile, but the missing part doesn't go away, but I know she is in a better place. I wouldn't want my mother to suffer like she did. My mother died of a heart attack, but she had congenital heart defect; not being able to breathe without constantly stopping to catch her breath..I know/heard she was happy before she died. I wasn't with her and yes of course, I felt like my heart was torn apart not being able to say goodbye, but I know she loved me and I know in my heart she is watching over me through the grace of God..It gets better by just thinking good thoughts of your mother..:)

thanks so much for sharing your feelings. I appreciate it.

You're welcome..:)

this was so very touching, I agree she is watching over you from heaven, I lost my mom 10 mths ago and that's what makes me feel better is knowing she does watch over me

Thank u so much. I'm sorry about your mom.. I still go day to day feeling alone.
I don't know if I'll ever be happy again.