I Can't Let Go

Hello everybody!
My mom suffered from skin cancer and died when I was 8. I'm 15 now and although she passed away 7 years ago it feels like I'm just starting to grieve her.
After she had died I couldn't really be sad and let my emotions out. I didn't realize it meant that she would be gone forever. That I could never see her again in my life. That she would never help me again or say that she loved me....it's just that..she was the most important person in my life, I could tell her everything. And then she died.
And now, 7 years later, I'm still crying everytime I think about her. And the problem is I can't really talk to anybody. Maybe because I never could. I never talked about her and that she died with anyone.
Sometimes my dad and my grandmother mention her but that's it. I never cried in front of them. Maybe it's that lack of communication (about her) that is getting me down ... I don't know...But I strongly believe that after somebody that close to you dies, you should talk about it! I didn't do that, instead I hid my feelings.
It would just seem weird to talk to them now. It feels like I can't...sometimes I feel like I could confide in my friends but I'm not sure...it seems so silly that I am still not over her and that I'm still so sad about it.
I hope someone will read and understand this. Maybe you could even give me some advice or tell me some strategies for coping with grief.
God, I miss her...
breakthrough3 breakthrough3
18-21, F
Dec 6, 2012