My Mom died on Friday evening. I am sad. I miss her. I want her in my life. I am only 30. My life has barely begun. She is going to miss it. I don't know what else I could have done. I only wanted the best for her. She had a hard life. I wish it were better. She deserved the best life. She was so kind and gentle and beautiful. I love her. I wore her perfume to bed last night. I haven't been sleeping well all week. I feel even more alone since she is gone. I can't believe it. She was only 71. She gave so much of herself. She loved gardening and planting and decorating. She modeled and wore beautiful clothes. She liked tennis and birds and swimming. She had blue eyes. I want to hold her. I want to talk to her and hear her voice. It is not fair. She deserved a good life and so much more than she had. I wish I could have saved her. I wish I could have made her life perfect for her. I wish se hadn't suffered. I wish she were here with me so we could spend more time together and have more memories. I wish I had been able to take her out and do more for her. I hope she knows how much I always loved her. I think I loved her most. I think I saw her for who she was more than anyone else did. I miss her so. I'm glad she was my mother. but I just miss her. I hope she comes to my dreams. I wish she was living with me even. I love her so. I miss her. I want her to be happy and spreading joy into the world. I hope she is at peace. I can't believe it. I don't want it to be true. I want her here. I don't want her things. She should be alive.