Almost 9 Years and Some Days It's Just Like the First One...

Right before my 13th birthday, my sister-in-law brought my beautiful nephew into the world.  My mom was in the room to see it.  That night after leaving the hospital, my mom collapsed in pain.  It was only me and my 6 year old brother home with her.  It turned out my mom had lung cancer.  It was already spreading into her ribs. It was diagnosed in September and by January it had spread to her brain.

May 28, 2000, my mom slipped into a coma.  Her wish was to die at home, so we made her as comfortable as possible.  She passed away May 29, 200 at about 1:30 am.  She was a month short of her 43rd birthday.  She left behind 5 children, 1 grandchild, her husband, and countless other relatives.

It's been almost 9 years and I'm 22 now.  My younger brother is 16.  The thing I have the hardest thing for me anymore is watching my brother grow up into this amazing person and my mom isn't here to experience my joy over this.  I now have a total of 3 nieces and 3 nephews that will never know that Mom would've been the greatest grandma any kid could want. 

Missing her has made me not want some of the joys you can have when you grow up.  I don't want to plan a wedding without her.  I don't want to have children someday because I won't know what to do without her.  I don't want to die and leave my kids behind in the mess that my brother and I were left in since we were the only 2 still living at home, that's a whole other experience. Ha ha.

I don't live in a constant state of self-pity like a lot of my family tends to.  I don't even want pity for sharing my story.  I just wanted to let anyone who might need it know that you are not alone.  We can lose a parent at any age and it's always going to hurt the same. 

If you stuck through this long rant, thank you for letting me share my story with you.

tasteofink tasteofink
26-30, F
1 Response Mar 26, 2009

I'am sorry about your loss and i hope you feel better but just remeber that she is always looking down on you and your family and that you will see her again when you get to heaven.<br />
<br />
-MoonShimmer