I Miss My Mother

I also lost my mom in June!!! I know exactly how you feel. I have gotten to the point where I apologize for talking about it so much........people say your mom died and it's fine to talk about it you don't need to apologize. I wasn't ready for her to go and I think that I expected her to make it. She was so strong and determined in her life that I figured that she would be in her sickness. My mom started dying from the day she found out she had cancer......I feel like my fiancee doesn't get it either. I feel like people look at me and think move on already. They don't get that I don't get to pick up the phone and call her.....they don't get that her first birthday not on this earth is fast approaching. I walk by the cards for mom in the store and think I have no one to buy these for. I am not trying to be woh's me but my God I never knew it would be this hard. I understand you because I am dealing with the same feelings.

My mother died in June too! She was a strong woman full of life so I am still in denial. She went on all the roller coaster rides and water park slides in Disney with me even though she was in her seventies! I am so heart broken I have created a memorial in my home and back yard and just returned from a trip to Fatima and Lourdes. My mother was in the last 4 Macy's Thanksgiving Day parades and I recently found film clips of her in the 2007 parade. These holidays will be hard for me. Do not be ashamed of your grief..I cry every day...most times alone but do not care if someone sees me. The depth of our grief is the flip side of the height of our love and is expressed in many personal ways. I am determined to find ways to honor her memory as my version of therapy. I will not hesitate to buy Birthday and Mother's day cards as an outlet for my feelings.
I cannot believe that such a strong woman was given only 3 months to live after being diagnosed with colon cancer in March.
Allow family and friends to comfort you and if they do not understand your feelings forgive them and find people who do. My faith is a source of support for me. We will not be the daughters we once were b/c an essential person is missing from our lives, we have no choice but to reinvent ourselves. Take the love you shared and seek ways to convert it to joy. Be gentle with yourself.....give yourself time.......find peace.

My mother passed in January on '09. She had a long uncomfortable battle with cancer. Your story is short but much like mine and I felt better reading it because i do the same things to keep my mind off of it and to stay away from the alcohol, it does make it easier. But my boyfriend doesnt get why im still angry...thank you

I just wish I could give every member of this experience a big fat hug.
We all need one.

I lost my mother in June 1998, i know it was long time ago however i still mourn her death to this day. I also try to num the feeling by drinking wine and just being one of those people who don't care. I'm the friendliest and nicest person at the office because I figured if i'm a nice person to everyone then they won't really ask me questions about myself. I am an orphan i lost my father when i was 4 turning 5 and my mom when i was 14 turning 15. Life without a mother is cold and hard, nothing compares to mothers love. I'm 26year old woman now and i've reached a point in my life where think about having kids, however i cannot have kids not because of a medical reason but because there is no guarantee nothing will happen to me while my kids are still young. Loosing my mother has made me put up walls around my heart. I guess in some way i blame myself for death or i wish i was the one who died. My younger brother and sister need her, i can't take their pain away no matter how hard i try. The thought of them being hurt rips my heart apart. I feel so alone and scared in this world i miss my mommy

I just lost my Mom last week. She died suddenly on June 23rd of a massive heart attack. She was 87. I knew she wouldn't live forever, but she had been through so much emotional stress lately, and come out of it, I thought she'd be around a little longer, at least until the Fall.

I visited her before she died. It wasn't a holiday, though. I was under pressure to be back at work. I hurried back. I didn't want to - but felt a need to. I cried when I left her, not really knowing why. I didn't know then, that that would be the last time I'd see her.

I woke her up to say goodbye because I had to get to the airport. I gave her a little kiss on the forhead and told her I loved her.... but I didn't want to go. Now she's gone, and it hurts.... it hurts like heck. I had no idea how hard it would be. I miss her so much. I wish I hadn't left her alone. I wish I had stayed, and not been in such a rush to go back to my stupid job.

I know I couldn't have known. I know she knew I loved her. I know all that. She didn't exactly die alone. My brother got to her just before the ambulance did. But it was quick.

Probably better than the alternative, I know. She didn't suffer, there was no long battle with cancer, pain and grief in strange hospital beds. Just - snuffed out.

The hard part is that it is forever.

My only comfort comes from knowing that she too lived through the death of her mother. She had to be strong for her kids. She had a lot of life left in her after that, and I know I have to get on with my life as well - including the part where I focus on my job as a mother to young teenage girls.

I feel like I've joined some kind of club. A club of people who have lost their mothers. I feel like I want to get to know these people, because I am jealous of people who still have their Moms. Does this make sense?

Dear pennyandyogi
It certainly makes sense to me- I feel the same way. Thank you for sharing your feelings.

MY HEART GOES OUT TO ALL OF YOU. I JUST LOST MY MOTHER YESTERDAY SHE DIED SO SUDDEN OF A HEART ATTACK. I FEEL SO HELPLESS WITH QUESTIONS AND TRYING TO SEEK ANSWERS. I KNEW SHE HAD A LOT OF COMPLICATIONS WITH ILLNESSES OVER THE LAST FIFTEEN YEARS YET STILL IT WAS SO SUDDEN.

SEEING MY FAMILY SO SAD AND KNOWING I WILL NEVER TALK TO HER AGAIN OR HEAR HER VOICE OR EVEN HER SMALL LAUGH. I THINK BACK NOW WITH ALL THE ECONOMIC PROBLEMS MY WIFE AND I FACED THESE LAST TWO YEARS OF HAVING TO CLOSE OUR BUSINESS AND HAVING TO MOVE OUT OF OUR HOME. I NOW THANK GOD THAT I CAME BACK HOME TO LIVE WITH MY MOTHER AND SEE HER EVERY MORNING AND SPEND TIME WITH HER ALL DAY FOR THE LAST TWO MONTHS. I ONLY WISH OUR LORD WOULD HAVE GIVEN HER MORE TIME HERE ON EARTH.

MY SYMPATHY AND HEART GO OUT TO ANYONE WHO HAS LOST THEIR MOTHER. THEY GIVE US LIFE AND SURROUND US WITH LOVE AND SUPPORT AND GIVE UP A PART OF THEMSELVES FOR THEIR CHILDREN. MY MOTHER WAS ALWAYS CONCERNED ABOUT ME AND MY FAMILY'S SPIRIT, HEALTH, WELFARE AND FUTURE AND I DON'T THINK SHE EVER MISSED A DAY WITHOUT PRAYING FOR HER HUSBAND AND CHILDREN.

AGAIN MY PRAYERS GO OUT TO ALL OF YOU AND YOUR MOTHERS AND MOM I LOVE YOU.

My mother died last June. She had been in pain and ill to one degree or another for four years. She wasn't a perfect mother, I don't think anyone is but she was worthy of being loved and honored. And I do love her still. This kind of love between us can't be gone. It has to live on in my heart. I will never stop missing her, I don't think anyone who loves and loses their mother ever stops grieving in a way. But that should not become the biggest part of who we are and who we will become..... Our mothers will always live on in our hearts

I think we´re all looking for the same thing here...for that feeling of peace, fulfillment, happiness, love...things we used to have when our moms were around... I lost my mom in february. She had a long struggle against cancer...8 years...and I wasn´t prepared...we´re never ready for this... and I miss her every single day, all the time. I cry everyday, I think of her all the time.. I used to call her in the middle of the day when my day sucked and she´d make things better...I´d even give her funny prank calls and we laughed a lot over the phone...I miss telling her about the funny and cool things I see during the day, and I miss her food, her smell, her laughter, she reading the news everyday in the living room, I miss her telling hse hated my last boyfriend, I miss her telling me to eat beet even though I don´t like it, I miss dancing the chacha with her in the kitchen and how she hugged me and just leaned on me and we almost fell to the ground...I miss it when she heard me cry and she always made me feel ok, I miss her telling me to lose wheight, to play the keyboard more often, to save money, to eat well, to take a jacket because it would rain (she was always right!!!), I miss her playing with my cats, listening to music out loud and waking me up early in the weekend, going to church, not thinking she looked good in pictures, telling me about how her youth was, how her childhood was growing up in the farm...I miss her so much...so much...it truly hurts. The loneliness hurts. I´ve never felt this lonely, even when I am with my friends, or my family..I don´t care about things anymore, I try not to love people as much as before because I know I may lose them...but I am thankful for all she´s done for me. She´s my role model. She would fight for what she wanted and believed in, for keeping us safe, for being alive, and she loved life. In the end, she suffered so much...I know God did what was right, but I miss her just too much..Sometimes I wish she wasn´t such a good mother, because maybe I wouldn´t miss her that much. And I dream about her and the day I´ll meet her again...I don´t know if it will take long, I´m just 23. But I know that even if it lasts for 1 day...it will be that perfect holy moment only we, who miss our moms, will know what it is like.
Thank you for reading...