Missing Mom

my mom died this august. she was gone in three weeks from cancer, she died 19 days from diagnosis. I miss her so much without my baby I would have died. he is all that kept me from following her. everything is different now and i dont know what to do with myself. I keep looking at paranormal shows and ghosts, and pshycics. I never cared before to do so. I am catholic so its not really good to do in my church, but I also cant seem to stop from wanting to contact her. its always there, this annyoing need to contact her. I know she loved me, and I loved her. I told her every ten minutes and held her when she died, does anyone else seem to do this? I feel very lonely despite having friends and family, noone is like her. I work as a waitress and just graduated from university. I have a young baby and sometimes feel bad that I am engulfed in these thoughts. It was like a bad nightmare. She had no idea it was happening because she was so doped up. I feel mad when people are not sympathetic, but I need to realize that everyone does not understand what loosing a mother is like right? What helps you? I feel scared and I wake up every night at two in the morning, every night and think that she is there...its really weird. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

thank you

amy sue

amysue1234 amysue1234
26-30, F
Feb 24, 2010