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Almost A Year Ago

may 1st, 2009 my mother passed away. i can hardly beleive it...i thought she would be here forever making me miserable....she would call me saying stuff like, rememeber me, your mother....how i miss this !  I THINK what i miss about my mom is the image i have of her in my mind...my younger  moments, how she made everything special when we were kids. how all the holidays were special, how much she always tried to protect us kids. she was an abused woman, she was cheated on and she was a poor woman which she tried very hard to hide from her kids. she was so embassed when we caught our father abusing her. i just want to cry when i think about this......i miss her so much !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   she was only 72 and her husband,  my step father was 84...he was an iditot when mom was sick and he just didn't care. he told her he was feeling bad but he didn't bring flowers or clother for her in her lasl days...poor ray !   EVEN AT her funeral he didn't dress up, he didn['t tallk about her and they were married for 23 years!   HER tombstone says, GOOD FRIEND, GOOD WIFE..... i hate him !  all she ever did was worry about him and what he would think !    I DO NOT know how to grieve...all i do is cry about the mother i lost, the image of my mom....she would be misable if she was still here.....but i miss her so much!

sanndirunrun sanndirunrun 51-55 Apr 12, 2010

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