I'm So HomesickI'm so homesick for my house and my life I'm not sure I'm ever going to get over it. I think the hardest part is that this was the fact that we were the cause of this move. We didn't have to, we chose to because we didn't feel quite right in the area we were living for almost 10 years. We didn't have any friends, we had good jobs but were not happy with them, and the people in the area were rather conservative and stand-offish.
But we had a wonderful house and a quiet life and I was getting to the point where I was learning how to accept the things that didn't work for us, and really appreciate the things that did. But my husband was getting increasingly dissatisfied and I'm not sure that if I would have put the kibosh on the job he was offered, that he wouldn't have resented me forever.
Now I"m wondering if it's the other way around. It's been almost 4 years, we've lived in 2 horrible temporary apartments, and now have bought a money pit out of desperation which has drained us dry of everything I saved so long to save. And now we still don't have the money to make this place into someplace that I think will make me comfortable. What's worse, is I work from home, so I'm here, in this place that I don't really like, 24/7, which just reminds me of how much we've been ripped off since we bought the place, by contractors and designers and cabinet makers, and inspectors and real estate agents and people in general. I used to look at the best in people, now I have no faith in them.
And I miss my old house soooo much. It was one of those places where when I looked in the window for the first time I thought ... I felt ... "This is it. This is the one." I loved that place with all my heart. I know I"m suppose to be learning that it's not the place you live it's the people and animals you live with, but I miss it so much. There's nothing for me and the cats to look out at (no view, no view of even the front street to watch people walk by) and I just don't even know how I"m ever going to get over this.
Thank you for listening.