Its Never Goodbye

when your young you never realize how much you depend on your parents. you never realize how losing them would change you life.. your mind.. your world. i lost my parents when i was 16 years old. those horrible teenage days when your on top of the world and being a little **** to everyone. picking fights just to look cool yet always knowing when you go home from school someone loves you. its been three years now and it seems like yesterday. i lost bith my parents over one night. well technically i still have one.. my mothers dead and my fathers in jail. me and my sister where left with nothing, just each other. its funny how everyone always says it'll get better with time... then how come it hasnt?? how long will it take? its unfair how some people have to go through such horrible tragedies and other go through none. people say god has a plan for everyone an everything willwork out. why in the hell would he ever plan for two girls to have seen there moms fresh dead body, end up with no parent, no money, no car, no place to live, the rest of there family to not get along, me to finish school, no one at my graduation... whos going to be there when i get married or have kids.. or even worst how am i going to explain it to my kids why they dont have grandparents. do you know how hard it is to have to explain to people, like boyfriends, how come i have no parent?? or how it fills to be judged by it all??? the time before were so amazing going to work with my dad, filling the filter for the pool with laundry soap so it filled with bubbles, washing in the rain water, all the laughs, and the lessons/things i've learned from them. its unfair.. i miss them soo much despite or what happened. the pain just gets worst and worst everyday. life suck for sure. i love them and miss them terribly...   thanks for reading. :')

nickyh nickyh
18-21, F
2 Responses Feb 20, 2009

I lost my dad in 2004 and my mom this past spring. I come from a family of 12 children and you would think it would be easy to lean on someone. It is quite the opposite. Everyone is so full of their own grief that it is hard to just sit with one of my siblings and listen to them cry without the overwhelming urge to just jump in with my own grief-laded stories.<br />
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They teach us every silly thing there is to know in school---and yet the most important thing they skip....How do I grieve my parents-the two people in my life who loved me more than anything? Where is the manual on that?

I was an only child and I lost my parents three years ago, they will never be there either, but life goes on and it took me a while to pull myself up and deal and move on. It wasn't easy.