Harder Than I Thought

Hi everyone. So, I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months now, and he's been deployed since January and is serving in Afghanistan. I'm normally a very independent person, but I miss him so much. We get to talk on Facebook sometimes, but not for very long. It's hard. Especially because I don't have girlfriends or family members who know what I'm going through. I joined this site hoping to get that support from other EP members, but so far it's only gone as far as a few sporadic comments here and there. Hopefully it will be better after a little time. :) What's hard is having any kind of personal struggle or issue, and not wanting to tell my boyfriend about it because: a) I want to keep our conversations positive; b) I don't want him to have to worry or feel guilty for not being here for me; and c) anything I go through is incomparable to what he's going through, and I don't expect him to be able to sympathize while he's over there fearing for his life. So it's hard because sometimes I need that sympathy. My grandpa & cousin recently passed and I didn't even get asked, "How did the service go?" from him. I can't be upset about it because I know he is having bigger issues to deal with over there -- but I'm sure other army girlfriends know what I'm talking about. You want the support from the one person you depend on it most from, and it simply just can't be there. So we have to be strong. Well, if anyone is going through anything similar to this, it would be great to chat! Take care everyone.
addalee addalee
2 Responses May 5, 2012

Hey there! I know how you feel, my boyfriend is overseas as well. I definitely agree with keeping everything positive during conversations. There are TONS of things I would love to tell him sometimes, especially about my bad days. When he's asked if I've been worried or upset, I've said no and that I'm fine..even if I do worry or when I'm upset. I find writing in a journal about how you feel helps a lot. But I do know how you feel about getting no sympathy because there's times i'll mention things where I'll expect him to say something about it.. and i'll get nothing. So we're kinda on the same page! I did join this site for support because my girlfriends don't understand my situation and they really don't know what to say.. and it got to a point where it was frustrating and this site has helped alot. So feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to, us military girlfriends need to stick together!

Hey...I just wanted to say I know exactly what you are going through! my guy was deployed a month ago for 7 months. It is soooo much harder than imagined..im usually a strong person but this has turned me into a nervous wreck haha...crying randomly and the lot. Its harder that i haven't spoken to him for 2 weeks because he's at a CP and has no internet and phones cut off all the time so they aren't ringing and letters are taking 3+ weeks to get out there! Then i lost my cousin 2 days ago...and it's the hardest thing, the one person I want here for support is the one person I can't tell anything to. Even when I do speak to him I will have to pretend that I am fine because I don't want him worrying. You really are not on your own :) xx