Not In Love But Close Enough. I Miss Him.

Where do i start. Im 17, a junior in highschool, future nurse. With a huge heart.

Im probably gonna get alot off my age lol, regardless if anybody even knows me. Im probably more committed then a 25 year old wife. Im here to be a friend to anybody thats going through what i am.

Now with that said. I met my soldier 2 months ago. We started just simply being friends and talking. At the time i was going through a rough breakup. & he had alot of issues with the past. We provided eachother with support.. as the days went on we would talk EVRYDAY, he would text me at work while i was at school. Because of my age i didnt want to jump into anything or even get him in trouble. For one i live with my mom, she lets me hang out with him if i take my little brother.. ( humiliation ) and for two i couldnt offer him the relationship and things that someone, 20 years old like him, could offer. But i told him straight up if he wanted to be anything more , he would have to wait to have a relationship. He didnt mind. he never went out and partied like his buddies, he doesnt drink or smoke. hes just like me, a chill guy that likes to stay inside. Now ive had alot of relationships and ive learned alot through just highschool and seein my surroundings, i could spot out and ******* real quick. One of my true loves was a chronic and sever liar, lol. it was really easy to spot his fake stories.. but he had an amazing personality. Only thing is that it was fake most of the time. so that relationship scared me off.

Anyways so we kept on talking, and i got to see what an amazing guy he is. I was a military brat myself, and the base hes stationeed at is where i used to live. I always thought if i was with a military guy i could handle it. Wow was i wrong. I would never do this all over again. Hes worth it to me, the time hes given me, the things hes done for me, and the love hes given me, he deserves it. To have somebody there like nobody ever has. He doesnt say i love you to me, it slipped out of my mouth one night tho on accident -_- . but we talked about it and he told me that the day he lets me know that he loves me, its forsure and it would be no doubt in his mind, sometimes i get upset and he tells me to let me love him.

Sorry if this is too long, i got nothing else to blow my heart at right now. He deployed not that long ago, not even a month ago, but things really do go by fast. I miss him, i was able to talk to him alot until hes movin around to where hes supposed to be at the whole deployment. At the beggining it was easy for me, im not in love with him,.. and the time he was away i figured i could get myself straight and worry about me. But man i was wrong again! not only do i see what i have, i miss him so much! ive been doing a good job at it, sometimes for a split second i feel as if im gonna go crazy but it goes away.. this is just the beginning though . im ready to see the outcomes, and they can only be postive :)!
missinDMB2013 missinDMB2013
18-21, F
May 6, 2012