His Birthday

Today would have been his birthday. It was been 1 yr 4 months and 16 days since he died. Somehow, I coped better last year. This year, I broke down yesteday at work and started crying. It was the first time since he died that I broke down at work. Maybe it is the rollercoaster of his birthday. I remember the happiest day of my life when he was born. There are so many good memories. Then it hits me he is gone. No more conversations or walks through a park or meals shared. And I miss him so much. My life has become so empty and meaningless. It is as though there is no life anymore without my son. I did not realize until he was gone, how much of my life I lived for him. That he was the reason for my existence. I posted a question here the other day. A serious question about a person living too long. No one even cared enough to answer it. That was the answer. My son is gone. All I can do is miss him and my life valueless to any one now. I died once and they brought me back. How I wish I was dead and he was here to live and love and share and give of himself to his friends as he did before. His wife is in the hospital now. She is having a hard time also dealing with it. He died on their 9th wedding anniversary. His mom was in the hospital last year with broken heart synadrome which causes heart damage like a heart attack. Those who knew him hurt so much and have so much pain and loss. He gave so much to all of us. And many miss him as much now as they day it happened.
demorcan demorcan
61-65, M
1 Response Sep 6, 2012

I am so sorry for your loss.