I Will Love Him Forever

My son died, of a sudden illness, over two weeks ago now.

I wrote that sentence, above, but I hardly, really, believe it. 

I loved him so much; he was only 29 years old and my only child.

I am trying to keep going, but it is very hard.

Oh, I loved him so much.  I just loved him so much.  I miss him; it hurts, it hurts, it hurts.  I want him back so much.

I know I have to let him go.  I know it won't always hurt this much.  I know that the joy he brought me cannot be taken away from me.  I know I regret nothing; I would live every moment again, even knowing the heartbreak ahead.

Thanks for listening; it helps.


sarrina sarrina
15 Responses Aug 9, 2009

God so young... that must be really hard. What I wonder sometimes do we do to deserve death?! I am your son's age but I'm going to turn 30 in about a little less than 6 months... I just hope that I live as long as my parents and grandparents. It's so scary that death...so permanent. I just hope he didn't DIE painfully or terribly but he died peacefully... my condolences to you and your family Sarrina...

Bless your heart. I pray God gives you comfort this day and always and please know that love NEVER dies but transcends...He is still with you and will always be, just in another form. Cry when you need to but laugh when you need to for grieving is a process and is personal. You have a right but remember...God is good even when life is bad. I'm sorry for your loss

Thanks, mstazz. I appreciate the reminder.

Well i now head to the 3rd anniversary of losing my son,he would have been 31 on saturday the 7th,and we lost him on the 9th of this month,the only comfort i have is that i am 3 years nearer to seeing him again,he is in my thoughts every single day,i love and miss him so much,and i have so many questions.<br />
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I also think of other parents who have suffered this,the cruelest of losses,my good wishes to you all.

Wait, there - I see your comment again, boycie. Don't know what happened, there.

Thanks, boycie.<br />
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Yes, I am heading for the 3rd yr anniversary this July, and it still feels like yesterday. I still tear up at the slightest mention; I can't go an hour without thinking of him - and like you, I count the days. I used to wish I could live as long as possible, to be with my son as long as possible. Now - I would never take my own life, because I think that would be wrong for me to do, but I no worry about death. It is my only chance to see my son again, so it doesn't scare me anymore. I will welcome it when the time comes.<br />
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There are just no words for the endless, horrible pain that we must live with. My thoughts and best wishes are with you. Thanks so much for commenting. (though your comment has suddenly disappeared - I don't know why).

I know the feeling,i lost my son 3 years ago this july,2 days after his 28th birthday,and it only seems like it was last week,it was our only child,and i count the days until i see him again.Unless it happens to you,you have no idea what it feels like,a tsunami of the soul.

I just caught up with those who had written me about the loss of my son. I wanted to make sure you knew that I pray for you now as well. Only those who experience such devistation can understand. It has been 3 years for me now and I can tell you it hasnt gotten easier at all. I miss him dearly as I am sure you miss your son. Just wanted you to know your in my prayers. Much love to you and your family, may god help you through

Debby, I am so sorry to read about the tragic loss of your son. Yes, you do know my pain. For me, it has been about a year and a half now. Some of the rawness is gone, but it is still very, very difficult and painful. Thanks for sharing with me. It helps to feel less alone.


Sooo sorry to hear this. I have a little prayer, hope it helps.<br />
Lord help me to stay close to you<br />
And trust you more each day,<br />
So when the storms of life appear<br />
I will not slip away,,,,,,,,,,,<br />
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God bless you and yours every day.<br />
You will be in our prayers

My condolences.

Thinking of you.

I am so sorry for your loss dear Thanks for sharing your story. Again I am so sorry for your loss if you would like to talk I have two fairly good ears.

I feel really sorry for u...It's just that GOD loves your son very much and God wants your son to be with him...My sincere love and care will always be with you!!!

I am so sorry for your loss.<br />
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You are right when you say it won't always hurt this much. Time does bring some measure of peace and it becomes possible to think of them and of good times without the intense pain that you feel right now. Life does get divided into before and after, and a mother's grief is deep and never really goes away. But the wonderful memories never go away either, nor the love.