I Really Miss My Past Self

I really miss my old self.. in the past i was a very positive thinker.. a person who stands tall in problems.. I was very happy and enthusiastic.. a very jamming person

but since i got into a relationship.. i thought it makes me more happy. At first it was .. but as time goes by.. am slowly loosing myself until a point comes that it change me... a negative person and always depressed in small things.. very depressed that a point comes that i have to cry it all to make myself relief. it does but only a moment. It was the very opposite of who i am in the past.

Now i have been suffering from depression. Until a time comes that i been thinking of suicide to relief me all of this despair. But i cant do it.

i have thought that the relationship i have change me in the opposite way.. i want to walk away the things that makes me loose myself.. but unfortunately i cant do it.. i really cant.. many times i attempt but i cant do it.

Now i'm stuck to this feeling of depression and slowly, my tunnel to the light keeps on going far away.

I miss myself.. i want to revive my old dead self.. but at times goes by.. its getting difficult and difficult. But i have learned my lesson

Loving to much to point where i loose myself is a fatal mistake i have ever done..
Now. its very difficult to go back..
galileo1990 galileo1990
1 Response Dec 9, 2012

Never feel bad about yourself, you can alway be gone beyond recovery. I for one know I am beyond redemption, I am a monster, I never know what I see in the mirror. Don't feel disheartened about yourself. Learn to move not beyond your new persona, but with it. Let it become part of you. You must realize that no matter what path you take with yourself, the journey can never end by your lonesome. And by killing yourself, you alway take a small part of loved ones with you.
I know it seems like it will nver be better, but please trust me noting.....nothing on Earth would be more heart breaking than to end the wonderful journey that you are on right now. Soon from now you will see what I mean and understand. I pray for you and hope you have a rich and wonderful life ahead of you.