Missing That "loving Feeling".

I am 60 years old and am completely bored with my present life. Perhaps I’m not the only one.

I absolutely love my wife and my two sons, but feel there must be a little left for me somewhere. I love my wife deeply for being the mother of my children, and am unselfish enough not to make her suffer in any way due to my personal problem. In other words, I am not selfish enough to leave my wife and family just to try to regain my youth. Perhaps I am an extinct species in today’s world.

The best moments of my life are when I interact with my two sons, especially when we sit and "shoot the bull" about life and what we like to call "The female situation". They’re really good and well-adjusted kids who excel academically and live a very happy life; therefore who am I to wreck their happiness. They deserve it! I had my chance and blew it, twice, so it’s their turn now to live a tranquil life and suffering their parent’s divorce is simply not an option.

I’ve given it a lot of thought and come to the conclusion I don’t miss being young, what I miss is the exciting feeling I had every morning, when I woke up, of not knowing what my day was going to be like. Would I meet that special girl who would make my jaw drop to the ground? Would I feel that unbearable excitement knowing we had set a day and time to go out on a date? Would I feel like bursting waiting till the time came to see her again? Would I believe she was absolutely beautiful (in my eyes only, of course, I never liked so-called "beauty queens"). In my youth life was magical and the future was an exciting mystery that awaited me.

Now, my life is predictably boring, and there are little excitements left in it for me. I lived in Spain for many years and found an on-line site with hundreds of photos of 1960’s Spain sent in by people my age and older. One can spend the time viewing those old photos and, for a while, feel like time has stood still in the Spain of my youth. Perhaps they make me feel "closer" to my youth, who knows, but it’s one of the things I enjoy doing most nowadays.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not depressed or anything. On the contrary, I’m always happy and am the life and joker of the group, and don't believe it's all an act. My feelings of longing for love do not impede my normal functioning as a stable individual.

There, I got it off my chest for the first time in my life! I’ve never told all this to anyone. Best regards to anyone who reads this. Royce

planar33012 planar33012
56-60, M
3 Responses Mar 13, 2010

You annoy me.

Wow I don't like your post.

You only love your wife because of the KIDS she gave you? not becuase of her herself? What if she couldn't have kids you're mean!
Also, you don't have to live your life that young because just because you're young, doesn't mean things are better. My dad is 60 and he loves his life and you should enjoy yours.

Your kids, if the parents divorce WON'T have a hard time! YOU WILL THOUGH Because your kids are adults you know? What do they care about your love life?!

Sorry I annoy you. This place is for people to write their feelings without inhibitions or other people , like you, getting "upset". People don't write here so other people enjoy what we wrote so don't be so annoying yourself.

I am Pleased to meet you Royce. I bet the country is lovely! ↨ ♥ how I have always longed to travel to Spain and perhaps one day I will as a famous detective. My name is Tara I am 26 and living in the US. Your story caught my eye because it was a similar in type to mine. I am glad that you have decided not to rock the family boat so to speak with a divorce, though I am sure that your sons are old enough wise enough and settled in enough to handle anything that comes their way. Though I guess at your age you can still have some of those adorn feelings. You’re never to old to feel alive and I think sometimes it sounds as if that is what you crave most. Not success and not vengeance or anything but youthful wishes of vitality and unknown which is perfectly good thing to want.<br />
So besides looking at older pictures of times past and chatting with your son's, what do you and your wife do for fun? Sounds like you have a routine and that is good those are so needed. :-) What other things do you enjoy doing? What sort of things have you accomplished and done. I bet you have a million stories. I hope that you recapture that flame that so long ago, that stole your very breath from your chest in hopes to see her dazzling smile once more. May that peace and joy and joker of the group expand and live in all those around you as you sound like a sincerely fascinating person.<br />
Thanks for sharing