What Happened :)

I don't know if it is my age, really I suppose it is just a fact of life, whatever the reason is-I miss it. It being the spark for life that I had in my twenties and thirties. I felt aroused with possibilities, the what if's and longing to change something. I felt energy, a longing to make a difference,,,then I hit 40 and flatlined and have been that way for 6 years,,,oh I am not depressed,I have countless things  that are wonderful in my life,I just feel like I live in limbo- that I exist and go through the motions of every day....I guess people fall into a rut or sorts,,I read alot,,know all about the positive afformations, mind exercising motivational studies,,religion,,,meditation  all very good in theory,,,yes I believe they all work,,,,,but how do we train the mind to accept and stay focused on anyone of them,,,I know that "Choice" is the keyword,,,,I guess I just have a hard time implementing   :)  I want the Spark back :)

oldheart oldheart
46-50, F
1 Response Feb 23, 2010

A couple of years ago, I was frustrating about feeling like a mountain climber who had slid into a glade, recovered from injuries -- found that he could not get out, was limited to walking the same short paths over and over again with the same tantalizing sights of snow-capped peaks in the distance. I could feel the fire going out in me, too.<br />
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Truth was, all I had to do was stop walking the same paths, jump off the edge and go sliding down again. Hurts, but it keeps me alive.