Constant Tapping On My Shoulder .

I want to use , right now I have a huge craving .
This is beyond a joke , a decade since I was an addict will she never leave my head .
certifiable certifiable
70+, F
7 Responses Jan 21, 2012

first of hello, I've never did enough to get hooked. When the china white was here I had the chance to try it and I really liked it. It was my good luck that it went away & was replaced by that nasty biack tar. I couldn't stand anything about that crap, it was unfortinute that my sister liked it. she started on pain pills. there wasn't a piece of her body script, anyhoo got her a mexican hook up & struggled for 15 years before she got a batch a bit to pure. the hardest thing I've had to look at was my Mom walking out of the undertaker carying my little sister , her baby in a little tupperware container. I hope your mom never has to experience the pain & guilt my mom went through.

I'm sorry about your sister but if my mum had been a better mum I wouldn't have been a child heroin addict .

That's sad. So are you letting your past own you or have you gotten over

That's sad. So are you letting your past own you or have you gotten over

No I'm clean but just stating that using my mum to try to ward off cravings won't work for me .

1 More Response

I'm sorry for son is going through the same problem. :(

be strong girl, know the feeling well - i have been clean from crack for 4 years and still battel everyday

I hear ya. The only thing that helps me is thinking about consequences but I still crave it myself. Your obviously doing something right, congratulations. Do you have craving at any particular time or place, does something trigger ut. Probably not I have craving out of no where and for no reason.

Well the usual , seeing some one shoot on telly , hearing it talked about or seeing a person on the nod .Driving past scoring areas and certain people too But yeah it can come out of no where and those are the tough ones . Just doing your daily stuff and all of a sudden you just want to get on , could kill for a shot .
I could never be a junkie again but I could sure get high again .
Yes the bad times are ever present in my mind too . Not easy though is it .
You too for getting your act together .

Hey, only just read this. I am just going into my fourth week of my Methadone detox. Still feeling rough - but better than the mind-screwed feeling I had daily when using and rattling. Hope you didn't succumb to the urges. It's a long and hard battle but I am sure you'll agree that the battle when using daily is far worse. S ;)

How is the done detox as brutal as I've heard it is .
I have slipped lately yes , just to a once a week thing but it has to stop . I can't go on like this .

The craving does go away.

the craving never goes away

I was addicted to crack. Or I should say I AM addicted but in recovery. I had the obsession and compulsion to use.I couldn't stop by myself. In my active addiction my life revolved around getting and using drugs. Buying crack became more important than paying bills and for a long period it came before buying food. I sold all my possessions to get drugs. Anyway,crack is highly addictive but I started attending AA, CA, and NA. meetings and the compulsion and obsession to use was lifted and has not been back in over 20 years. That could be anyone.

thats good to hear.. im glad youre getting help and youre trying to live a normal life

it will take something intense , to kill something sooo intense ..............<br />
<br />
but it can be killed