Done And Never Going Back.

I am over this bullsh!t. I need to be or my life will end soon, I can feel it. I'm a better person than I give myself credit for and I can do anything I want or put my mind to. I have always used drugs and drank a lot, but a while ago I started using heroin again in a big way. No one until right now knows about it. The only person who knew I began using it again was the person I was getting it off of, and I had one or two friends who suspected it. I went through the detox again and I am determined to make it my last. I have so many things I could be accomplishing, so much potential, and I've wasted the last decade or more on drugs. The best years of my life were thrown away, but it will not continue.

I am not going to sit here and say from this point out I will live a completely sober life, because I won't. I will still drink frequently and smoke weed, there is no denying that. I do however refuse to throw my life away on heroin and cocaine. I haven't used either one in over a week, which isn't a significant amount of time, but it is a start. I am more motivated than ever to start being who I should've been when I was 16. It took me until I was 28 to really realize what I could've done all this time had I not brought myself down like this.

There is more to life than this, and I'm going to find it. To my few EP friends that I really care about, I love you and thank you for being there for me when I needed someone to talk to.

I refuse to let this kill me, I will overcome it.
keithstone248 keithstone248
26-30, M
8 Responses Jan 2, 2013

I am happy to know that at least right now you're you're moving on and trying to get rid of this drugs, you are right you should not allow this to kill your life and waste your precious life because of this drugs. I believe that if you ask for God's guidance and prayed up He will answer your prayers, you don't have to do it all alone, you have lot of friends that would support you from getting over it and never come back using drugs that is bad for you.
I am just here if you need someone to talk with:)

Thank you so much. :) I love talking to you, and I thank you for being so kind lately. <3

You don't have to thank me for that, i didn't do much to you either, i am just happy and comfortable when am having conversation with you, you are sincere and honest person:)

i did needle dope when a teen. served some time in jail. had a couple minor relapses on k4's in the last four yrs. i never wanna return to that sort of life. i smoke weed and pop an occasional pill. drink everyday too. when im ready imma quit all that **** too.

I'm by far not living the clean life. I have only smoked weed twice in the past two months because I want a new job, and want to pass a drug test. I still drink everyday though. I am, for the most part, not touching the hard stuff, but I'm still not doing what I should be doing.

im proud of you. ya dont destroy your life on that ****. i ****** mine up on the dope. so not worth it. hope you continue doing well and may your life have many good things happen in it

Thank you :)

I hope you really mean what you said, it's such a waste of life.
I've done alot of partying in mylife as well, so not judging,
Heroin is a killer eventually, and it's hit home for my family, my niece passed away just two days ago from this, we'll be putting her to rest on Saturday.

My life story^^ although im 26, but it has taken me this look to realize it. I have been sober for 9 months from heroin and cocaine. Congrats, and good luck man. It can be done once you are really truly ready!

You can do it! we all have our challenges in life and its never ever too late to defeat them. Do it for you! You deserve it sooo much!

Hope it lasts sending good vibes your way ^_^

My heart goes out to you. <3 I am so sorry you are going through this. You are an amazing person.. In one post, I knew you were. ;)
I know how hard it is, but you have that strength inside yourself, it's there. The best advice I can offer is solicit help. You admitted yourself, only your dealer knows... that isn't going to stop you when you get to tired to fight. You went through detox...again. Good. Remember how much that sucks.
You wasted time? Ok. Don't waste more hating yourself for it. You have learned so much more from your trials than most people will in their entire life.
Glad to see you don't expect perfection. :) That would be crazy talk. Just know your limits and know your triggers.
One week can be a lifetime, my friend.
So glad we finally talked. ;)

Good for you!! i wish you strength