Not What You Expect

I mistreat myself in many different ways..

I mistreat my Body... I Don't train my body to run fast or even exercise in the least bit.. Im not fat because i refuse to be.. But i am very unhealthy when it comes to physical quality.. The reason im not fat is because i mistreat my body by having sudden weeks of anorexia.. Those few weeks every couple months help more then you think.. But they do kill your body inside and out.. I have stages of cutting.. Sometimes bad sometimes not so bad.. But always bad..

I mistreat my mind.. I constantly tell myself "I can't do it" or "im a failure" And when i say that i am giving myself the idea that i really can't when i can.. But even more then that i call myself names like stupid.. and trying to make myself feel bad.. because when my mind makes me feel bad everyone does.. It makes your mind very stressed to think about the things you hate about yourself..

I mistreat my life... When i say i don't care it me not living my life to the fullest like i should.. And that isn't right.. I don't care about things that i think is stupid.. and i think alot of things are stupid.. im mistreating my own experience.. i don't let myself out and i don't let myself open up.. Which is why i have low self esteem, a perfect figure and cuts on my arms..
HeartAndWings HeartAndWings
18-21, F
2 Responses Jan 20, 2013

Be my mistress

Hun I dont know your story or what you're goin through but I do know you will get through it. It's easier said than done but by making simple switches you could change your life for the better. Try every time you call yourself a name, think of two nice things to say for yourself. I know from expierience that cutting is hard to stop doing once you start but think about those who love you. They would be crushed to know tht you were hurting yourself. As for the rest, please treat yourself good. You deserve the absolute best and by not lettin yourself enjoy life you're taking that away. Live life to the fullest and love yourself. I hope this helped and I'm always here if you need someone to talk to. Stay strong!