Am I A Mistress?
I'm new to this website. Feel confused by what's happening on my life right now and accidently found this website trough google.
Last year around nov I knew a guy from online dating. We're from different nationality and have quite big age differences (I'm 21 and he's 38).We met for the first time in the beginning of this year, after lot of mails and chats. It was quite amazing. Like I've known him for years, he's what I thought he's and even he exceeded my expectation. So I ended up did 'it' with him, it was my first time. No regret after that. I know what I was doing with all of the consequences. Before I thought it would be a fling, I didn't expect much from him. But the fact, we grew closer after our first ecounter and since then he came to visit me every one or two months. We both realize that something's growing between us, but we didn't consider it as a 'relationship' yet.
On last October he got a job in his hometown, a settle job that made him didn't have much time again to visit me. So we had a serious conversation and we made a plan, that after I graduate I will move out to his country and try to live with him. Plan never goes as it's planned, right? we had difficult time for a month. He tried to adjust his life back there and I tried to graduate as soon as possible. That's when I came to a realization that I have to sacrifice so much to be with him, and that's when I doubt whether all of this would be worthed in the end. I'm a career minded girl. I don't want to end up only being a housewife. I'm ambitious and he knows that. It tortures me to know that I have to give up my dream. He wants a marriage and children soon. And I honestly told him that I was scared and freaked out with the sudden change. We became so pessimistic. In the beginning of this november I broke up with him. I told him that I can't be with him, I wasn't ready. He seemed to be very angry with me. He didn't replied my mail and I think he put me on the block list in his MSN. Two days after that he message me and told that he met a woman, she's 35 and has same life goals with him which mean marriage and family. I couldn't help not to feel hurt, that he got over me that fast. We didn't do any contact for a almost two weeks. Then suddenly last week he sent me mail. It was a casual one, asked 'how are you', etc. But then he told me how he missed me and wondered whether he has made right choice. Since then we start to chat regulary again. He's still seeing this woman. He told me that he's close to his goal to be financially retired and he plan to move in here so he can see me more. Once I asked him why he still keep seeing this girl. He said that he doesn't want to build much hope. He wants me but it's not me who be there. And I can can't give him assurance that I'm going to be with him. We know we want each other but there might be something wrong with the plan.
He plans to visit me this new year when he gets long holiday.
So I'm confused now, am I a mistress?
I need some opinions