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Fake Love

hi i need some advice.. can someone help me please.. yes im a mistress but it was accidentally i fell in love with this man not knowing that he was married for 14 years and has two kids.. we've been together for 6 months till i found out that he is a married man i dont know if fate was on my side when i accidentally discovered that his sister was my highschool classmate and thats how i discovered that he is a family man..as i discovered that he was married at first i told him to end up our relationship because it was so wrong and it was never in my dream to be a mistress but when i saw him crying in front of me begging for my forgiveness telling me that he was so sorry and that all his fault was he fell in love with me with those word coming from his mouth my heart melts even if i know that he wouldnt leave his family for me i decided to keep our relationship even if i know what his status is i was the one who told him to keep our relationship till i leave(i was about to study overseas) because i cant bear to see us apart. and then the moment has come when i was about to leave but we didnt end our relationship even if im overseas we were still communicating and saying how much we love each other..i dont know why i cant leave him when i know for the fact that he is just using me to gain money and other stuff and i know im so dumb stupid to the highest level for letting him treat me as if i have to earn for him in order for him to leave this man is jobless and i know im so stupid for allowing him to make me his mistress and give him money.i know many will criticize me for being so stupid and blind thats why i join this forum to ask for help not to criticize me because i want to end our relationship but i dont know how coz everytime i try to say goodbye i always end up going back in his arms weve been through a lot we fight like husband and wife we threw words that nobody can bear but we're still together thats why im confused i want to get out of this relationship but im to weak to let go because my heart keeps on telling me not to let him go..what will i do??
habibi87 habibi87 26-30 6 Responses Feb 5, 2013

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oh my gosh, reading this i thought it was me. i know EXACTLY how you feel. exactly.

i was in love, huge fights but then once we saw each other in person it was like none of that actually mattered and when i looked in his eyes i thought i could feel his love for me. i don't doubt for a second that he loved me... i think he loved his wife just as much though. i waited for a year he kept promising me a divorce was coming and would do little things to show me but then i was talking to his brother one night who said oh yeah him and his wife kiss all the time, they're really happy together.
he had told me i was the only one he was kissing.
i called him out... he didn't reply so i did what i knew i had to do: tell the wife.

i figured this way we would never even be an option. i know he would hate me and never trust me for telling her and that way going back to him wouldnt be an option and i could force myself to move on..

and yep, he hates me. i messaged her telling and he called me with her at his side and together they screamed at me that i was the bad one and that i should kill myself. her saying "ill buy the rope *****!!" will forever replay in my head. awful. he was screaming 'stalker leave me alone how many times do i have to tell you!" while in reality just an hour ago he was texting about how much he loved and missed me.

it KILLED to see how much he sided with her so i sent texts and emails to the wife and her sisters.

im assuming she will stay with him, but at least i know he's not an option and the truth is out.

men will always side with their wives. I didn't believe it when i read it... i thought no way. what we have is different. it's not. wives always come first. god damn it kills. im at my life lowest low.

Read "The Female Brain." by Louann Brizendine, M.D. Neuropsychiatrist.

Maybe if you understand why you are so "in love" with him that you are willing to do things you know are wrong and don't want to do, you can figure out a way to stop.

As a man, I can truthfully say with 100% certainty, that despite what he says, he's playing you for his own ego and sexxual gratification.

If I lacked morals, I'd have a couple mistresses too, but I respect women too much to play those kinds of games with their lives.

on the process of leaving MM too, try my way, get a paper and make two column side by side. Write all the good things that happen with him and if you keep on stay with him and the other is the opposite, all the bad things when you're with him and if you stay with him.

i make the list and literally smack my own face, what the hell am I doing holding on to a relationship where I didn't get anything good at all. And I didn't even give him any money, I think your list list would be easier than mine. And when the list done, made up your mind, not your heart only and walk the talk. It'll be hard but I think it lead to a much better life.

well maybe i had just fallen in love with the right guy at the wrong time that even if i know its wrong to give him something or anything i still do.

When you think positive and motivate yourself positive events will occur. I'm very traditional. You shouldn't be giving any man money. He needs to step up and be a man and get a job and stop crying,

Hi I'm facing the same issue and guess we are about the same age. My mm told me because of his upcoming new born child he could not leave her and baby due to his oblige to take care of them.

Same I was the one who trying to continue this relationship regardless how many times he said he can't give me anything anymore in future. I'm feeling hopeless now as in he is not enjoying his time at home but still committed to stay at he most of the time.

Am trying my best to read all the online posts and everyone comments to gradually to see the selfish side of him and gradually keep him out of mind. The process does not feel good but I know we all had to go through in order for us to live better and get myself ready for the next one.

My heart is weak too but had start finding way to see him clearly and understand he couldn't keep us accompanied forever and forever had to wait endlessly with tears.

Feel free to email me as I'm also in midst to find courage to leave my mm cause though I love him but I feel so pain and empty when I had to stay alone during holidays and he's out with her enjoying with their common friends which we couldn't.

We all know that we deserved a better man inside us but its just that we are lack of that courage to leave and move on.

i have the same exact situation... whats your email? maybe we can talk and help each other feel better

Hi sent you an mail here.