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Perhaps ..perhaps Not

Hmm not too sure about this ..while I dont see anything wrong at all with allowing a boy to tap into his feminine side ( most have one) I dont believe constructively feminizing a son is the answer to world peace. In fact it may just be the opposite.

 Here in the west Feminizing our sons would be considered another Westernised  "whim or luxury" one which other countries in the world will simply not follow.  Men are tougher than women per sae for a reason.

 And nature very rarely gets these things wrong.

 If another Country / Countries  attacked ours it would be their "Masculine Men" who would invade ours. Then capture us women along with our feminized sons & husbands. Men are tough for good reason.

They construct and build worlds, they go out and do the dirty horrible jobs that feminine women (and there are are many of us )  dont want to do.

psst ( my husband catches the spiders when he's at home)

They take risks and chances for the sakes of their loved ones that many women cant even bare thinking about. And last but not least when our boys become grown Men they love us because of our femininity simply put ...we are different to them. Just as we love them for being Men and are very much attracted to a Man's Masculinity too.

I  have experienced the differences between raising a son and a daughter and know exactly what you mean. But I still believe nature know's best. 

While I'm fortunate to be able to experience the mother & daughter bond. I value both my children's genders for their differences they will make to their world . I do feel sad for women who have no daughters and understand their frustrations.

But perhaps if more of these women encouraged  their sons to be respectful & responsible Men  ...while at the same time became Mentor's  or special Guardians  to the young girls  ( and there are many of them ) in need of a Mom & female bonding.  Then this might be more of a productive solution. Much more than encouraging the feminization of our Sons across the board.

Just a thought.. I know how tempting it is an idea. But I would need more convincing. And what will we do about  our Mens unwanted Testosterone ..Medicate?   this will create among many things a need for more test tube babies.

 Men with nightly headaches & women will have to rely on S ex toys as standard almost because their husbands are busy having a manicure and then painting their nails..

Now come on...   lollol that's not fair!  
Mmmcherries Mmmcherries 46-50, F 8 Responses Sep 18, 2011

Your Response


At first I would strongly agree, that forced feminization of boys and men is not at all allowable. But I also firmly reject, that people that are born with a male body configuration between their legs, are condemned by their family and/or the society to live and behave in accordance to what is visible between their legs and not in accordance to what they feel in their heads. Of course mom’s and spouses can try to convince their son or husband to change to a more female attitude. And that can also be in some cases be an even welcome eye opener for some men without adequate life experience. But intrigues and/or brute forcing are not acceptable ways at all to influence our relations in our family and this society, so absolutely don’t give your husband or son a daily portion of Androcur in his cup of morning coffee ! But in my case I would have adored when my mom would have assisted me to become more feminine and I would have had to visit school fully dressed as a girl and that around 1950 puberty blockers would have been available already and I could have used them fully to my conviction and to block that upcoming very awful growing of a beard on my face and changing my very nice feminine voice . It will remain forever an absolute secret, how in that case my life would have evolved.

Only less than one in the some thousands of people that are born with male sexual organs feel inside themselves as a female instead of as a male. Female to mail feelings also exist, but are even less distributed. And also there are people who neither feel to be a male nor feel to be a woman. In most cases self-acceptance is the first main problem of these kind of people. I want to draw your attention to e.g. the American Indians, who offer those (Berdache) people a fully valued place in the female side of their society. It is even no problem when they prefer to wear female clothing. Also in Asian communities you see this type of acceptance of minorities. But in our Western Society long times everything outside the strictly binary separation of our population into only pure males and pure females, this minority has been considered as an illness, decadency and/or firmly objectionable. But before I finally broke through to live fully as a female, I worked for more than 30 years as a civilian for our MOD. Obviously I served the defense of our country in such a perfect way, that I even became decorated by our queen for my devotion in my work. So even very feminine males can seriously help in the defense of their country, only not with a sword or a gun in their hands. And why a Society would place people aside and out of work only because they feel and want to present themselves as a female but having unfortunately the wrong body configuration between their legs ? And why in Heaven in this World every two days one of them is killed because of those feelings ?

Fortunately the International world is definitely moving into more acceptance for this type of minorities. Look e.g. into the Yogyakarta Principle No. 3 in 2006, where in every individual is considered to be fully free to identify him or herself as a male or as a female based on their feelings and not based on the body configuration between their legs. Look to page 11 in the Human Rights article , that states :
Everyone has the right to recognition everywhere as a person before the law. Persons of diverse sexual orientations and gender identities shall enjoy legal capacity in all aspects of life. Each person’s self-defined sexual orientation and gender identity is integral to their personality and is one of the most basic aspects of self-determination, dignity and freedom. No one shall be forced to undergo medical procedures, including sex reassignment surgery, sterilization”.

I live now already since 1990 extremely happy as a woman together with my female partner, being fully accepted by my almost entire new social environment and I not at all feel myself, according to the Psychiatric bible DSM-IV, being mentally ill ! Many Western countries are starting to adopt this way of thinking in their legal systems, but unfortunately in some countries, like e.g. Russia, things still keep moving into the wrong direction. In 2014 in my country it will become possible to get an “F” in my passport without any need for HRT (Hormonal Treatment, SRS (Sexual Refinement Surgery) or FFS (Facial Feminization Surgery) and I feel that as the crown on my efforts to be able to live as a woman.

On the Internet it is not always fully clear if stories are based on reality or maybe only on fantasy. But I feel it is realistic, that some percentage of the people that are borne as a male, in a start-up fase strongly object to forms of forced feminization, but finally do resignate in what their mom or spouse did to them and accept to live as the female they are wanted to behave as by those woman. But it is also not unlikely that males in that situation decide to commit suicide. And to the people who promote that more males should be feminized in order to reduce the chances on future wars, I would pose the following question : What type of totally incredibly invincible wife should the girlfriend Eva Braun or maybe the mother of a man like Hitler should have been to be, to feminize such a man as Hitler or Assad and minimize the risk on the second world war and other wars ?

When you are interested in my struggle in the first (male) part of my life, look also into my article : .


Your story is such an eye opener - it truly is and my heart goes out to you and your struggle ..I think you are brilliant.

You have also brought a balanced view - to what I know for many is serious issue & ongoing debate . Thanks for posting hugz Cherrie x

There are Alpha males that are all male and then there are the others. Those that are not Alpha should be encouraged and trained to be as feminine as they can be in order to help the women serve the Alpha men. Mothers can recognize this difference at a young age and begin to help them as soon as it is discovered. They can help them to become as feminine as possible, teach them the joy of female attire, and learn the females chores and duties to help tend to the Alpha males. A regimen of the right supplements may even help to enhance their feminine side, a softer appearance, maybe even budding breasts. This division would make growing up so much easier and much less tension in schools. These feminized boys should not only be allowed to dress feminine in school it should be mandatory. They would fraternize with the girls, which would help them learn more femininity and would be out of the way of the Alpha males. This is an accepted practice in many asian countries, blurring the lines of gender to the point of only knowing they are feminine.

Yours is the voice of sound reason.

Me<br />
Quote "loveforsatin" as a man who loves to dress in womens clothes i dissagree with the idear we must be rough and ruggid ready for war chopping down trees ect all the other matcho crap ! why should i deny myself plesure in being sensitive and the touch of silky lingrie ? so i can be on call to die for a country that dose not give a crap about me or to keep the econnamy going by sencless breeding with and female i meeet and go to the football on the weekends ? id rather go shoping with a woman for cloths than sit with a bunch of sweaty men drinking beer and having farting contests ! <br />
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See again .. you are getting my Msg all wrong! there is nothing wrong with a guy wearing women's clothes - if that's what he wants to do. I have said this on here sooo many times.<br />
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What I ob<x>ject to is a bunch of people (any ppl Male or Female etc) "insisting " on controlled feminization of boys across the board without exception.<br />
Okay you dont like the idea of being aggressive or 'macho' so what no big deal some women dont like being soft & 'feminine' its really nothing new.<br />
As well as live and - let live.<br />
I also believe that Males & females we are born born with innate Qualities call it 'chromosomal' if you like but we are born with qualities which as whole serve the / our family, communities, societies, & our relationships best. These qualities are polar opposites.<br />
If a boy is born male and finds he doesn't wish to wear a dress or a skirt. Then It shouldn't be a 'Master Plan'<br />
I hope you dont mind me saying but for instance I could tell fairly easily without your even saying.. that you were born Male -<br />
simply because you have put your point across not in a horrible - but certainly in a fairly aggressive manner. Your choice of writtain language belies your feminine side <br />
But noone should hold this against you - any more than hold it against the guy who fights for his Country or who hold's his own on a Rugby pitch. Just how can he not be who he is? <br />
Personally I reckon what's most wrong is guys are often not allowed to be seen as being sensitive. But for me this is an issue which is separate & different from insisting on "Enforced Feminization" <br />
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Quote VickyKotex<br />
"You say your son started pulling away from you at around 5? I would have loved to go throw a nighty on and cudeled with my mom on the couch with her and my sister. What would yopu have said had your son done this? I'm not putting you down by the way, just asking. Because I totally agree that no child should be forced to be a certain stereo type. We have to start realising that gender is never just black and white."<br />
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Hi Vicky your story is wonderful! I'm glad things turned out the way you needed ..thanks for sharing :)<br />
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To answer your question - <br />
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I would have loved to have had more time with my Son just being real close like we were.<br />
And if we had continued that way I dont think there would have been a particular stage when I would have wanted us to stop.<br />
Or that subsequently I would have gone on to judge him all. <br />
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The problem we have here is one of dictatorship.. Other people 'Society' saying who we should be and what we should be like ..when fact is. We are who we are.. Whether it be a man who likes to be feminine or a Man who likes to be Masculine.<br />
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See my way of thinking is quite simple "Live and let Live" Dont dictate that Men shouldn't be feminized .Nor dictate that they should be.

Mmmmcherries<br />
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Not one woman in my life forced me to be feminine. However, thankfully one did allow me to be the person I wanted to be. From an early age all I wanted to do was be like my sister and mother. This was not due to me not having a father figure in my lifeas there were many men to fill that role. I wanted to play with dolls and skipping ropes, wanted to be able to wear pretty dresses and when I got older would have loved to be able to go shopping with mom and buy the same things for me asmy sister got. I got caught in my sister's clothes once by mom and was promptly told to change , that little boys did not wear girl's clothing. YET, my sister could dress in pants, plaid shirt and work boots if needed or she wanted to. <br />
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Then one day my cousin caught me wearing one of her baby doll sets and that changed my whole life. She niether beraited me nor made me do anything. She simply accepted that I was different from the "norm" She would answer my questions, teach me do do the right things and showed me how to be a younge lady. She fought for me with my mother at 15 and lo and behold after mom realised my life wasn't a fad she took to it like ducks to water. We made up for lost time and even my sister has accepted who I am. And though it has taken a lot of time so have I.<br />
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You say your son started pulling away from you at around 5? I would have loved to go throw a nighty on and cudeled with my mom on the couch with her and my sister. What would yopu have said had your son done this? I'm not putting you down by the way, just asking. Because I totally agree that no child should be forced to be a certain stereo type. We have to start realising that gender is never just black and white.

I agree a support you very strongly

Most women have a knack to send conflicting message. Such as WE are the superiror sex, But being fem makes us inferior, don't feminise yourselves or you will become inferior.<br />
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What hog-wash, There Maculine women, feminine women, femiMENe, and MAculine males<br />
In effect a whole palet of colours in gender indenty, and taste as far as dress code goes, Heres a secret Lets just all respect each other by allowing each and every one to dresse as they please.<br />
And lets drop dead this taliban Mentality " you are going to be as I choose you to be" how about ( live, and let live ).<br />
Personally I prefer wo-MEN that ale macho-hot shots, Like Shaiana Twain says " that don't impress me at all".

As usual Anne Marie, you are Right On! Men and Boys should be able to Freely express their Femininity without Ridicule. Girls and Women express their Masculinity as well. The Male Dminated Society says that we Feminine Males are Inferior...that is ONLY True IF people Believe that women and Girls are Inferior to males...I Sure don't believe that! I Feel it an Honor to waer Feminine Clothing and to act more like a Woman!

Patti again we share the same opinion. Every time one of us talks the other te other one gives a standing ovation of applause to the other.

@ justinfield <br />
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There are always at least 3 sides to every argument and each persons opinion should be no less respected than the other. <br />
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I haven't disregarded your opinion ..I have simply given mine. alongside the reasons why I am not entirely sure about feminizing Sons and I thought I provided a fair argument.<br />
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You say my ideas are out dated but speaking for myself, my family, and friends who have sons - Our traditional ways of bringing up OUR Sons have worked out just fine. <br />
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My son is respectful to me and other women. He helps with domesticated chores, is very clean, neat and tidy, and he cooks beautifully.<br />
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Never been in trouble with gangs, nor the police.All of this and he was never feminized or raised in a dress.<br />
Has to him feeling deprived well.. he has never not at any time asked me to dress him as a girl.<br />
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He is Masculine in the clothing 'he chooses to wear' also his appearance and attitude.<br />
He's enjoys, his career, gets extremely excited at seeing naked women, as he does watching and participating in sports and of course he likes spending quality time with his gfs. <br />
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But none of this has ever hurt or harmed anyone. same can be said for the young men who have been raised by my sisters and friends.<br />
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Perhaps by having well turned out sons who are both Masculine and Unfeminine we are unwittingly doing something that other women are'nt? <br />
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I appreciate there are some boys who want to indulge their feminine side<br />
I acknowledged this in my original post and never said at any time this was wrong.<br />
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Everyone has the right to live their lives.. as they choose. But Choose IS the operative word. <br />
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If a boy demonstrates" Masculine Attributes" and is happy has he is ..then he should be allowed this.<br />
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All I would say here - has parents we have a duty to ensure our sons are able to validate how they feel without feeling guilty that they are Men. <br />
Or that they think differently to how their Sisters & Mothers do. <br />
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The best way to do this would be to support a Son positively. By allowing him to exercise his Male energy. Not by loafing around the streets.<br />
where he is bound to get into gangs, the wrong crowd ..and trouble - <br />
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But instead in a safe environment ie Sport, Scouting, Helping out. Perhaps even earning by lifting and carrying, in a family Business etc. Which is what many of the boys in our family are encouraged to do during their formative years.<br />
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Up until the age of five bringing up my son was really no different to bringing up my daughter<br />
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..but somehow around that age he changed he began toughing up and pulling away from me cuddling him all the time ... and some of the things we used to do.<br />
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He didn't like me kissing him ( even on the cheeks) in the playground any more and preferred his sword, play fighting, and his football than us cuddling up like we used to watching TV ..he chose to identify more with his father.<br />
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And yes it was difficult for me to lose him suddenly it seemed in that way, unlike the ongoing closeness with my daughter, I felt very empty very quickly. Daughters we keep them forever dont we & Sons well they let go. But I was never tempted to feminize him in anyway. <br />
I knew he needed to be this way be himself a young man and not act female like me. I respected that. <br />
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of course I did get him back ..affectionately. But never in the same way as we were before he was 5. But that's ok I'm proud of the young man he is today.<br />
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If we women wish to continue the prepubescent Mother and Son relationship we have ample enough opportunity to spoil and indulge our Men, our husbands ..the Partners in our lives.<br />
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After all they have had the wrench and cut their apron strings with their own Mothers to be with us . Nothing wrong then if together we rekindle their experiences or make up for the lack of them. <br />
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Live and let live .. all I'm saying is that it IS possible to raise Caring Sensitive Men ...who are Masculine as well.

When I happened upon this story, I'll have to day I didn't take it seriously. However, I did find it very well written and agreed with every word. Before leaving a comment, I read the replies and was shocked to find that it was necessary for you to write a longer reply trying to explain your original story. I find it hard to believe that the story was necessary to begin with. You don't need to explain any of this to me as I feel you are right without question. As you said, in most instances, nature gets it right. Live and let live. To each his own. Agree to disagree are all good sayings to live by. Love and tolerance is another wonderful concept but not an easy one. Damn good story by a friend that I now realize I don't know nearly well enough. Thank you.

(smiling) and there was me thinking I was going mad ..your like fresh air Penty ..fresh air lolol