I Have BovilexiaI am not a severe bovilexic... but I sometimes do get the "uncontrollable urge" that everyone talks about. And I just have to lean out the car window and moo at the cows. My husband on the other hand... he's so bovilexic that he has a shirt about it. Can't pass a cow without mooing at it. It's horrifying what this disease has done to him. Thank God I don't have such severe symptoms.
Bovilexia often has innocent beginnings- on a road trip, passing by fields of cows, children think that perhaps if they moo at them, the cows will hear their greeting from the outside world. As childhood fades and these often unrealized hopes dwindle, the mooing doesn't stop. The sufferer often succumbs to the disease so fully that s/he can often be sighted sticking his/her entire torso out the car window and screaming "MOO!" at the top of their lungs... sometimes for only one cow, hundreds of feet away. This disease is dangerous. Ranchers who get it often lose their livelihood because of their inability to stop mooing at their own cows. Drivers with bovilexia get into accidents because of their uncontrolled distraction. And teenagers who unsuspectingly take their bovilexia-stricken friends cow-tipping are sometimes lost in stampedes.
You can help stop the spread of bovilexia. If you have children, stop them from mooing at cows on road trips by putting blinders on the windows of your car. If you think you have a child, friend or relative with bovilexia, do your best to move them to England or New Zealand (research has found that the contraction of caprilexia, a related but much less severe disease involving "baa"ing at sheep, can reduce the effects of bovilexia). We must all look out for our loved ones if we're to slow this epidemic.
*sees a cow* ....MOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Christabel 19-21, F 11 Responses 19 Aug 15, 2007