Like Labor Pains

SYNOPSIS :  The grey skies  over LA , are a backsplash for the time of morning it is , ,the clock on the wall shows 11 am there is a baby crying , the sounds go in and out    . the awful trains in the background are just soundtracks for the depressing area of town where there are theives that target storages, .and drug addicts having made the streets their homes with a large cardboard box as a bedroom.. The dull labor of the heavy metal engines that clank and clatter upon the tracks, a lonley sound , the soundtrack for depression,..a baby cries from a window , then a glimps of what is happening behind the other widows in an apartment house always going back to the Baby cring in a basket by the window,
MAIN CHARACTER is  Nahdi who lives with her hardworking husband Sly. The child's cries are upsetting nahdi, she wants to go and hold the baby... she rocks in a rocking chair ,  she and sly bought together before she lost her baby....... "I just have to get out of  this", .Nahdi says, Sly replies  "What ? ..what is THIS ? .....quietly nahdi rocks , no answer ,..Naudi just sits staring out the window   ...Sly looks sad , kisses naudi on the cheek as he leaves for work. 

Sly talks on the phone that night , Naudi hears him from the hall , " She's so Depressed I know what i have to do now.", Nahdi and Sly packing to go somewhere,"Where are you going.. you two ? Mrs Claudia  asked as she walked by with her dog.        


Shall I continue with this screenplay ?     

 

MsOracle MsOracle
70+, F
1 Response Sep 7, 2012

I think the narration is fantastic. How about replacing 'depressing' mood with that of 'contemplative rebel' ?

Thank you for the comment , it is encouraging , your so kind.