Can't Get Over It

I started moving around when I was 3yrs old, every two and half years: new school, new friends, and same anxieties...

Middle school and high school were bad, but I think the worst experience was when I graduated from high school. I left for college the same day my parents moved to a different state. I packed my car and they packed a moving truck and that was that. My first college break I travelled to a new state/house with no friends to reconnect with.

While I was in college they moved 3+ more times. One particularily bad memory is when I tried to register for classes my second semester Junior year. I was told by the registrar that they hadn't received my tuition so I couldn't register for classes. Embarrassing as that was, the worst part was that my parents were in the middle of yet another move. I had no idea what their new address was or their new phone number. I had to wait until Monday morning because I did know my mom's work number.

I feel unsettled, like a building without a foundation. I have no simple answers to any background questions. I’ve never dreamed big because my entire life I only wanted small things: stability, friends, some place familiar, a place where I belonged. Facebook is depressing because I have reconnected with people I've met a long the way who have clearly built strong friendships and have strong foundations while I'm just somebody that they used to know.

My parents still haven't settled in a location. They can't commit to me, their grandkids or anything other than themselves. They don't understand my frustrations and basically tell me to "get over it."  I know you can’t live in the past and it is better to forgive and move on, but I can’t. 
longtermFX longtermFX
1 Response May 15, 2012

I'm going through it as well but i'm working through it because i know one day i can choose the way i live. I have deleted my facebook because i was feeling sad that i was no longer in some of my old friends lives. Moving often it had been quite a huge chunk of people that i had once known."There is nothing wrong with running and never looking back just never stop running!"