Living A Life Non Your Own

living a life non your own!

As for living a life that is not who you are can be really troublesome. Believe me when i say i know what im talking about the things >.i have done and places i've been you would not believe me with the things i can tell you. Now living a life as someone who you are not is somthing i can tell you all about. Well imagine looking at life through someone else's eyes and knowing that nothing can be done. Then imagine that that you can do something
but the one thing you can do is unacceptable upon your society or you know people are prejudice!
Do you realize that the way forward is diversity but its only minorities can understand this because majorities stereotype and discriminate because they are affraid of the unknown.

When i was child i was somewhat of four years of age but it was my first memory. well the first time i was concious of who i was and being alive. do you believe in re'incarnation well the theory is that once you have lived a previous life you come back as another and your soul lives on forever. It is supposed to affect you and the way you think but what if the life you lived beforehand you can remember more of and know for a fact you was different from everyone else.

well i have aways lived to peoples expectations and never as myself because if i lived as myself i would lose alot of friends and family not that anyone would understand. It is hard to explain and certainly hard to express because alot of people would take the **** this is somthing that is not too common but it has been heard of. what if you know you are only 1 in a few select couple of hundred people across the world with 20 billion people now when you think about it it is not really alot of people that are like you, you know your in what is called a minority.

The big question is how do you tell people without them taking the **** or insulting you or completely ******* you off.
It is somthing that is a sensitive subject to talk about what if your dying to tell somone but dont know how to and you are worried about how they will react is it best trying to tell them or leaving it out. Is it true that some things are better left unsaid or should you cease every moment and do as you please because you only live once?

Well i got to say that when iv'e woke up in the morning and not just when i've woke up but through most days that ive felt uncomfortable in my own skin. the best way to describe it is like a jacket potato in the oven and the skin goes loose and its all baggy on the outside that is how i have felt for the majority of my life. It's just like my skin was never my own i felt like peeling my own skin off.

This is a road to self destruction with beer and other exellent intixicants when you keep your mouth shut but what if there is ever a time when your on the boundaries of seeing your own capabilities and talking to people who are not offenceive what if the time comes when you can no longer hold it back because its driving you to insanity and you feel like expoloding like boom here i am well maybe it will never happen but you know who you are would you be happy or would you be depressed.

I have gotta say that i have been happy and depressed like really happy for a while then really depressesd there were alot of thing that make me happy but there was bad events which drove me to depression like next to successfully endin my life it is not something that is to be spoken about that much but i have my reasons but out of everything i can say that i am the person today that i am because of all the things i have experienced but all the people who know me say they would'nt change me but the question is would i or would they who knows it is one thing that is a question of life one that will never be answerd.

5tarlight1988 5tarlight1988
26-30, F
4 Responses May 14, 2012

i support your choice and wouldnt judje you. who cares???? u look good girl

I also wish society were more accepting. It's in to accept gays but not trans or bi-sexuals. You are headed in the right direction with much love & support. Stay positive and stay strong my sweet friend.

I know what you are saying, and it has been a very difficult road but it is going to get much easier now, and yes, it has certainly made you a better person.

thank you for sharing.