Why The Double Standard.

It is interesting to me that there are some, who for some reason say they will not obey their husband or that it is somehow degrading. That they don't understand how anyone can give up control of their-selves and give their lives to some one else.

This is to those who ask this question: You obey the red lights and stop signs.

If you are standing somewhere and an officer tells you to move you obey. (giving up control of your movements)

If your employer (boss, which is a dutch derivative of master) tells you to be at work at a set time or to work late, you obey. (Giving up control of time that is yours)

If you are told to pay taxes, get a license, insurance, car tag, presription, permits, certain clothes for a job, not to have pets, Then you are giving up control of yourself and you life by Obeying!

You have no real control of the money you make cause you aren't even given a choice whether taxes are held out. How is that having control?

Either get a license, etc., etc., etc., or get punished. How is that having control? The idea of freedom is an illusion regardless how it is looked at. So why not commit to the one who has agreed to look after you and protect you?

Want to know just how much you control your own life?: try to tell your employer you will be there when you get ready or that you are not going to pay taxes get insurance or a license.
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12 Responses Mar 16, 2011

Your comparison of societal norms to interpersonal relationship is well though out. In any society there are rules for behavior, the individual has the free will of choice to either accept the rules or to face the consequences. The same relationship factors are in place in any type of personal relationship, but free choice and acceptance of conseuqence for breaking the "rules" will alway be a dynamic.

Gum/jane, Also a valid question!

So because we follow the laws and rules that go along with living in a society, why not just follow what your man says too right? It's only one more thing to obey right? So you give up all control over your life, but your husband doesn't. No, as long as he abides by the law and holds down a job, he can come home and control everybody. How is that fair? <br />
The things that the man places value and importance on are NOT more important or worthy than what the woman values. He's not always right, and we shouldn't pretend that he is.

Yes but the laws of society are made for a huge amount of people to follow. The laws are the same for everyone and of course they are not always 100% right or ideal to everyone individual situation, but we must accept and abide if we want to share the advantages of living in a civilised society. On the other hand, a man setting rules for his misses, only has his and her needs to facilitate, so there's not much of an excuse for him to be 'wrong' and expect her to smile and go along with it if she knows of a more productive way to handle an issue.

You have an excellent point, Sheridan1988. What about this_ if you truly LOVE your man, don't you want the best for him? Is encouraging him to be less than he can be by allowing him to act like a male donkey loving? If you really love your husband you hit him over the head with a cast iron skillet if he is disrespectful of you in front of guests (dinner guests, I mean). Then he will know that you truly love him and will become more gracious! He will worship at the altar of your fur-below and bring you to perfect joy again and again! Don't hit him too hard, though. He might forget how to use his tongue.

Toss.,<br />
I like your answer!

Do you girls obey b/c you love hubby and he loves you back, or because the Bible said we must love each other.

I agree with your argument. I was married to a very defiant woman. She would simply go right if I said go left. Once we agreed to enter into DD relationship everything changed for the better. I did have to train her and be consistent , but it worked. I have back the woman I started dating years ago.

I would love if my husband obeyed me!<br />
Why is there not a strong movement for women who want husbands to obey them?<br />
I am serious. <br />
I love younger men and this is one of the reasons, I love being in control and making decisions and I am confident that I make the right decisions.<br />
How can I get my husband to submit and obey me?

You at the wrong place if you are seriously asking. Find some fiction about female dominant and male submissive. Read as many as you can & decide what you would like as your lifestyle. Then search for a man who is agreeable to this. Don't give him the details until you have been 'doin' IT" for a while. Or go to a BDSM web site for advice. Good luck!

I'm not convinced that your examples are relevant in comparison to a woman submitting to the Dominant she has chosen. In fact, I am certain. I think (not unkindly, lol) that you may be missing that submission should be voluntary, rewarding and most of all, a choice. The examples you have given are instances in which we do not have a choice. <br />
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Perhaps ironically, women are not the only one's who need to "obey" the rules you listed in your examples. (Do feel free to tell a police officer you are not going to move because you are a man, or tell the IRS you will not be paying taxes for the same reason. Let me know how that goes;-)<br />
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I do see that you are interested in the D/s lifestyle. Submission is considered a gift by the Dominant, and a good Dominant will respect, nurture and cherish that gift. He does not assume or demand that it will be given, as to do so destroys any dynamic essential to relationship success. In your example, I do not see you mention any aspect of this, so perhaps this is an area you will want to look into further.<br />
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The Domination/submission relationship is also different from a "surrendered wife" relationship. Both are valid to the individuals involved, but they are indeed distinctive.<br />
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Food for thought on your journey :)

I would love to be loved and protected. I do all those things you talk about, stopping at red lights. Obeying the police. Obeying the firemen. Obeying the bus driver. Obeying the store clerk. Obeying the librarian. It just comes naturally, to do what I should. I might be the one who does what I do, but not because of my own volition, but because - as you say - i have no control. No control of what I must do. No control over who to obey. (Though, it would be nice to find THE ONE, and obey only Him.) No control. I'm powerless in all those things, so why not in everything - if it will bring me love and protection. But, then, aren't I really the one in control of whether I receive love and protection? I'm not so sure I can give up so much, without being sure I am safe, that I am loved, that I am protected. Without feeling safe, loved and protected, how can I be so open as to give up all control to someone voluntarily - rather than in exchange for a job, the right to drive a car and be out in public? I can understand obeying the rules in public. but what does that have to do with what happens to me in private? In my safe and protected area of privacy, there is no double standard. i want to know that i am loved, totally and unconditionally. then, i will finally feel safe enough to give myself totally to Him, to honor, and respect, and try my best, to please and satisfy and - yes - even obey Him.

love and obey!!! its man loving his wife as a man, the wife who can respect his wishes and obey him will always be loved and that man will always protect her,,,,,,,,,thats easy

You say it's easy, but it simply isn't true that a man will always protect his wife. He will if he is a good man, but not all men are.

They just don't realize it is for their own good to obey their husbands.

It isn't always for their own good, because not all husbands are wonderful. Mine is though so I'm ok

I love all your points! You mAke very valid points out of everyday life. A great way of thinking outside the box! <br />
I also love this group. I can't help but become defensive when anyone tries to knock down what this group really stands for. Thanks for posting this!