My Punishment

My husband and I have been going back and forth on his strong desire/demand for me to be submissive. I've tried but had been fighting him on this.  Finally, he started to spank me three times a day followed by my giving oral sex to him on my knees.  By establishing this routine, I was to learn that I had to obey him and see him as the authority by feeling submissive and humilility.  As much as I hate to admit it, it did work.  The first thing I thought of in the morning was my submissiveness and I was reminded of it throughout the day.  After three days he saw me doing something he had forbid me to do and I got into a huge fight with him.  After saying and doing all kinds of things and being completely disrespectful, I now realize it's important that I have these limits and learn to do as I'm told so there is harmony in our marriage.  I also realize I admire him more when he is a strong man.  So I've agreed to worship him and be obedient once and for all.  I am completely determined to do this.  This may sound stupid to many women, but when you give yourself completely like this to a man, you find you are rewarded with the greatest relationship and have a man who is protective, loving and takes care of you.  I kept telling my husband I didn't agree because his needs came over mine and I would never be happy living to worship him.  But I was wrong.  It's very easy for women to get too caught up in this independant life and fighting the natural order of men being in charge.  Men need to be respected and women need to be adored.  My husband is so happy now.  For the first time, I actually want to do this.  If I disobey again, we start seven days of punishment in the same manner.

Learning2bsubmissive Learning2bsubmissive
41-45, F
32 Responses Apr 7, 2010

Wow! I'm single, but the responses I'm seeing are making me reconsider marriage. Marriage is supposed to be a lifelong commitment between two people to love and cherish each other despite their flaws and mistake. It is not supposed to be a game of who is leader and follower. The wife and the husband are equal and just because the wife is supposed to submit to the husband doesn't make the husband superior to her.

Jesus Christ submits to God the Father, but that doesn't make him inferior in anyway. I do believe that your husband has no right to treat you that way because whether he likes it or not, the two of you are equal and he is meant to protect you from harm, not inflict it, even if it means putting up with some unruly behavior. You are not his property, but you are free person capable of independent thought and opinion and if he doesn't like that, he shouldn't have married you.

even dogs have more self respect!! n ur husband is so unmanly, he needs to try power on u to feel manly
sick both of you

My being rude to you, if that's what I was being but I don't think so, doesn't stop me obeying him. We're on line where you can't see peoples true emotions, and when I told you all what I've told you I was on coming on strong but nonetheless as calm as a cucumber and you're the ones who decided it was rude. There's nothing with coming on strong but the problem is the people who can't handle it.

Live your lives as you see fit but I still say if you're truly obedient you don't need reminding, just as, you don't need to be spanked. However; many of you like it but I still don't link it with obedience and if you like it, well, chances are it's sexual or psychological. It's up in the air. Now, as for I, I have things to do and don't have time for your whinging and shall be off to better things. I came on here to see what's going on and to say what I thought I am, after all, free to do so. It is no secret I don't agree and neither would my other obedient friends. but that's life. Now had I slapped any of you then I'd have been disobedient and since I never slapped any of you I'm in the clear.

Wow, loving your responses masterlee, matilda, girving and some others I don't know. :-)

You are welcome.

Thank you my dear ;)

I'll give you being submissive but don't go and call yourself obedient; were you he'd never had laid a hand on you.

I think people are reading to much into what your saying. It sounds like your fairly new to this and still learning what works for the relationship. I'm happy you're finding your way. I'd be careful with the oral sex as punishment. That's something that needs to be a treat for both of you. Connecting it with punishment might make you want it less. When I rarely get punished it always ends with sex usually a blow job but it's not part of the punishment it's reassurance and a return to our union after he's totally ignored me for 24 hours. A treat for him and comfort for me knowing that he has forgiven and accepts me.

And, you're bragging about it? Are you nuts? You're not obedient; were you you'd have listened to him from the get go. In fact; none of you women are. You women are not listening to your husbands; were you you'd not be disciplined.

What human being doesn't mess up from time to time?

You mean you're being punished for making a mistake? Oh good lord! No one gets punished for making a mistake. If you know better to do it then go ahead and do it anyways; that's a different story. If you go ahead do it anyways when you know you're not supposed to that's not obedience. Then, to top it off get punished for it so you remember not to do it again; that's submission. If you're willing to obey with out having to submit first you're obedient but if you have to submit first you're submissive.

So if you obey 90% of the time and falter 10% of the time you are not obedient?

Not sure I am following this rant.

Let's put it this way if you falter on purpose and know better you are not obedient.

Perhaps. However, many women feel the need to test the boundaries form time to time for two distinct reasons. 1: to know the boundary is there, and 2: to know the man is still following through. In long term relationships, from time to time when there has not been any discipline or enforcement, it is a comfort to know they are still cared for. So this analogy does not follow 100%. There are times when a woman needs to feel she is still loved and cared for enough to be disciplined.

Thank you MasterLee I was kind of confused also. I agree with your comment.

If you falter on purpose you're not obedient. If you falter on purpose it means you're not listening to your husband. If you listen to him you'd not be faltering in the first place.

Testing? If any woman has to test her husband and you won't like it I promise; she's playing a game. She's looking for an excuse.

Obedient women never look for excuses; they listen to their husbands. When a woman listens to her husband there's no need for her to be punished and or to lok for excuses.

Thank you for your opinion. I disagree with almost everything you said from my experience but don't let that stop you.

What I don't get is how you call your wives obedient when you got to punish them and or they look to be punished. That's a bit odd to me. For instance you tell your wife not to talk to this gossipy woman; would you spank her just to make sure she listens to you or would you trust her to listen to you? Then, what if after you tell her not to talk to her she comes along and makes a deal with you to get permission to invite her over?

What I don't get is why you care how others live their lives. They have stated they do this by choice. You have stated you disagree with it. So what. Why do they or anyone else need to justify it to you. Are you that much of a busybody you need to keep beating the proverbial dead horse?

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I don't think my husband would ever incorporate sexual things into our discipline, but I am also spanked. (Quite frequently from the looks of my discipline book)... I have been trying SO hard though to please my husband since we started this lifestyle and he has been more and more complimenting about me. He comes home most days and thanks me for doing such a good job that day. There are some days where I hear "Why hasn't ____ gotten done today, do you have a good reason?" anddd usually my reason is being online too much lol, and that always leads to a spanking :( But I've gotten way better about it, I'm so far from perfect but the point is I'm making a strong effort to be submissive, even though I falter.

It has always been my policy to never incorporate sexual things into any punishment.

Your husband is happy? How can he be happy when he punished and humiliated you? Any man who punishes and humiliates his wife cant' be too happy. He's not happy. He punished and humiliated you because you didn't listen to him. Once again; how can he be happy?
He's not happy. You wanted to make him happy, in terms with your story, you'd have obeyed/listened to him from the get go. You did the complete opposite.

You are new to this aren't you.

I'm not submissive; never have been. I listen to my husband without the punishing crap.

In other words; I listen to him.

Surprising. You don't appear to take direction from anyone.

I'm obedient because I never got punished.

I bet your husband would have a differing opinion.

Nah, he wouldn't. We talked about this more than once. What he wants from a wife is a woman who listens to him without being punished; to him that's obedience. He doesn't want a woman who's going to sit there bow her, head, close her eyes, zip her lip and hold out her hand while, he decides what, when, where and how long; it disgusts him to no end.

Ah the online version. I understand now what your experience is.

My husband's told me not to talk to people and I have nothing to do with them. In fact; I don't even associate with them. Otherwise; he don't pick my friends for me; I'm not a child. He's told me he don't like seeing pens and pencils on the floor; he don't see any of those on the floor. He doesn't want me to get involved in gossip. He wants the door to be locked at all times when he's gone. If I have plans to go some place, I never ask his permission to do so and he tells me not to go; that's it I'm staying home. And I can't follow instructions. Neither have I been punished or looked for it to follow those instructions.


The online version? I know women who are like this. I'm serious. They literally bow their heads, close their eyes, zip their lips and hold out their hands while, their husbands decide, what, when, where and how long. Your wife can invite them over but they won't come unless; their husbands decide to visit you and then decide to drag them along. Nor, will they ask if they can visit her, let alone ask to be dropped off on the way. I am not joking.

So? Your point?

If her husband is in control, which at this point I wonder, he should be very disappointed in her behavior and the negative reflection on him of her behavior. I seriously doubt she comes within 1000 miles of being obedient. It seems her whole life consists of trying to elevate herself through ridicule of others and back handed praising herself for something she could never accomplish. Some people exist in this word to show others how never to be so she does serve a purpose, albeit a negative one.

My point is you said it was an online version but it's not and from here we'll get on with our lives.

That's right. If I'm told not to talk to them I don't talk to them. But, were my husband to tell me to take phone messages if and when they call him I'd do just exactly that . Because, that's exactly what he told me to do. You, on the other hand, would have to be spanked period before you could even understand the concept of don't talk to them but if they call me take phone messages. You'd be standing there saying something to the tune of, you told me not to talk to them make up your mind what you want me to do.

I gave you the benefit of the doubt and accepted your word you had moved off the thread. Si it seems you have lied. Apparently, you have claimed your husband doesn't spank you. Maybe it is time he did since you have lied, you are being a gossip, and you are causing problems.

I'm just giving my opinion and none of you like it. That's not my fault that's your fault.

He knows I'm on here but what is that to you? I don't like people twisting my words and when they do I will get rude.

When I see crap like what I've read here I have every right to get ticked. None of you even want to be obedient and your men sure in the hell don't know what they're doing. Above all; you never ever talk about your sex life and you don't go around talking about your spankings. The most important thing about obedience and mind you a Saudi woman told me this, is not to talk about your personal life and this is exactly what you're all doing; going around regaling your spanking stories and then to top that off the stories about how your husband accepted you by letting you give him a blow job. What you're all doing is a bunch of crap and my husband would slap the hell out of me if I were to do what you women are doing and have been doing. And rude? I haven't begun to be rude. Trust me you don't want me to be rude. Hell I even tell him off when he needs it. I came to check this place out and truly it's a bunch of crap - "If I disobey I get the paddle, but he knows I like it." The idea of obedience is not to get the paddle, is to never get the paddle; apparently none of you have caught on to that wee bit.

If you think its wrong ti talk about sex and spankings here. Then why did you just admit to getting paddled? You are a hypocrite. I feel bad for husband. I hope he reads this. I hope he sees how rude you are. He should wash your mouth out with soap, spank you and out you in the corner. And that's just to start. I was gonna stay quite but opted out. You can quit now or keep entertainment up. Your choice. Cause were just laughing at you the whole time!

They are entertainment for sure :)

What planet are you from adragon? I am guessing whatever it is, the women on that planet are rude, intolerant, and fairly intellectually challenged, as your being their representative.

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If I disobey I get the paddle, but he knows I like it or I doubt my punishment would be so severe. There's a natural order to all things male/female. There's nothing sexier than a controlling commanding man who isn't afraid of his woman!

All of you are really, really sick!!!!!

Really?! I think women with passive weak men are secretly jealous of the excitement we have behind closed doors & men who are timid long to have this control and domination! Just my feeling!

The sick ones are the perverts who try and ridicule people following a natural path.

I believe a woman can obey her husband without being controlled.

women OBEYING men????????????????????????????????????????????/
ur husbands shud **** on ur faces n thrust it down ur bloody throats

Of course they can. Straw man arguments do not really work.

Let me put it this way; you don't believe a woman can listen without having a threat hanging over her head, this makes her submissive not obedient. What makes her obedient is, that lack of threat and she still obeys. She doesn't believe her husband is the master yet, she still obeys. She believes in the right not to be ordered about and will say so, and still obeys. She does have the right not to be ordered around; are you aware of that?

Are you aware that every relationship is different no matter what your opinion is?

Tala are you aware of how ignorant you sound? There is no such thing as one size fits all and NOT every woman can follow her husbands every command without faltering. If you have gone years in a marriage of day to day living with one man who you NEVER EVER disobey then kudos to you but I don't believe it for one minute. Everyone messes up, and you know what? Some people ARE punished for mistakes. Sometimes I get caught up reading and am unaware of the time and I forget to do something that I've been asked to do. Mistake? Yes. Preventable mistake. Also yes, so therefore leads to a spanking. It isn't being outright disobedient. The goal is to obey your husband, when you mess up, he's there to correct you physically. Can a wife say "I do not believe in the right to be ordered around" OF COURSE you can, but then again you probably aren't in the VOLUNTARY lifestyle of domestic discipline. ;)

Well said girving.

You're fearful.

Hardly LOL You are such an opinionated snob. Do you get off on trying to ridicule people?

Everybody dance I say

Oh well, I still believe women who listen to their husbands are never punished. If they make an unintentional mistake they should never be punished. I also firmly believe a wife can listen to her husband without being totally controlled.

So you are intentionally being obtuse, argumentative, and disobeying him. Hmm, sounds hypocritical to me.

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I receive daily spankings as well. These are for reinforcement that my husband is in control.

This works for a lot of people.

When my wife and I started our relationship many years ago, She was originally spanked every day for ten days. Good/bad whatever, she came to me with a belt in her hand and asked for a whipping. it then moved to her recieving a weekly maintenance spanking. It has been this way for over 15 years. Once a week (her choice, but no weekends) she will bring me the belt we use for discipline, ***** and tell me she is ready for her reminder. Now, this maintenance punishment is not as severe as if she had misbehaved or anything, but it is definetely severe enough to keep her from misbehaving. It has worked for us and neither of us would have it any other way.

My husband has never laid a hand on me. He's never had to because I do listen to him and he knows I do. Nor, is he in control. Fine, you can have it your way. However; obedient women don't need reminding submissive women do.

Maintenance works for many couples. It is a solid ritual.

This is a good thing but ranting to others how they live their lives is not very submissive nor ladylike.

I told you I'm not submissive.

You did not have to, I could tell.

Nor, do I believe obedience and submission are the same thing.

Either you listen to your husband or you don't. If you listen to him you sure in the hell don't need to be punished and or reminded.

They are different indeed.

It is nice to know there is a perfect relationship to model on out there without any human flaws.

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3/7. Sign me up!

I'm really glad to read your post. I have struggled with my obedient instincts. Male hoh and punishment of a woman who disobeys is the only way to go.

Husbands should be encouraged to take the lead in the marriage - it leads to less stressful, more harmonious living. Since not all men are confident leaders, wives can definitely play a vital role in helping to develop their husband's leadership skills. A developed leader in the home understands the value of consequence, and may well incorporate spanking in the marriage to make the marriage stronger. It's great to hear from a wife who longs to live in submission to her husband. Well done on choosing the best type of marriage! For those wives who struggle to submit, or for those husbands who don't know how to exercise their authority, there are some great articles at Old Fashioned Marriage ( that might get you thinking in the right direction.

Giving oral sex as punishment? Well that's the best way to make you see it as a chore. Oral sex should only be given if you want to and if he deserves it. <br />
Do you really think a man has respect for a woman who gets on her knees coz he says so? Men respect women who respect themselves, not women who do everything they say.

I think the 7 days of punishment is a great idea. It's hard t stay submissive and this would definitely help. One spanking is not enough to get me there.

Love it. My wife loves her spankings I think she does wrong on purpose to get them.makes her wet.the harder I spank the wetter she gets

I wish my husband would punish me like that. I was not trained to be submissive by my Mother and would love it if my husband did this. I have BEGGED him to discipline me but he just won't. He is very passive.

I wish my husband would punish me like that. I was not trained to be submissive by my Mother and would love it if my husband did this. I have BEGGED him to discipline me but he just won't. He is very passive.

I fully respect and adore the brains behind the corset.

@ FeasibilityStudy: As KnottyGentleman has already pointed out, L2bs hasn't said anything in her posts to suggest her Dominant views her as emotionally or intellectually inferior. In almost 20 years as a submissive, I've yet to encounter a Dominant (male or female) who has ever thought of, or treated me, as something less than their emotional and intellectual equal. In fact, I would never consider to submitting to Anyone who did. <br />
<br />
The Dom/mes I know (and I include Myself in this observation) seek out submissives who are creative, intelligent, and self-assured because the gift of their submission has much greater value than that given by someone who is not at their level intellectually and emotionally.

I do not view my wife as inferior or unintelegent for being submissive to me. As a mater of fact I love, adore, and respect her even more for giving me this gift. DP

gift? lol

@ FeasibilityStudy. I don't think L2bs implied that she was not considered by her husband as intellectually and emotionally equal and even if she weren't, she made the conscious choice to submit to him. That said, a strong woman, an intelligent woman can decide to give in all aspects of her life to her partner and still retain her dignity, pride and strength... she only submits to One.

i totally agree i long for someone to take control of me so that i can stop fighting the proplem is im not sure how to stop fighting and dont know anyone persistant enough to get me to but i know i would be more content if i could, and if someone would

It's not always easy to do, but when I give in to him, he feels respected and in control and in turn feels more loving and protective to me. I know it's not easy for some women to understand. I have been very independent and in control and I can tell you it didn't fulfill me like this does. I know many friends would say I'm foolish but I look at their lonely or unhappy lives as they push for authority at home and end up with nothing. And we get so tired as women trying to do it all, I think many of us long for someone to take some control from us and take care of us. Give yourself so fully and completely to a man and he will (well most will) give you the world. My husband is very disciplined and strict in certain ways and has rules which can be hard to understand and follow but he is also very loving and affectionate and gives me the world. I'm not also a perfect wife or always obedient, but I try hard and when I do give myself completely, which is most of the time, I am rewarded in many ways. Ladies- give yourself to your man completely- sexually, spiritually, emotionally, and let him be in control and always have respect, and if the right man, you get love and generoisty and security in return.

Showing respect to your husband and having him acknowledge it is a feeling that cannot be duplicated. There are times when I will bite my tongue and apologize when I don't feel I'm wrong, only to diffuse an argument. He will know how I really feel, but the apology is an indication to him that I am referring to his authority. It always ends up with my husband telling me later how he knows what I did and how he appreciated it. I feel humbled when I apologize, and am referring to his authority. The respect he feels gets returned to me with love and affection..I am a strong willed person, however, I will do whatever my husband asks, not because I have to, but because I want to.

Good for you yes it's a learning process that will take time. Damn on your knees after a spanking..Ok leave me with my thoughts LOL ;)

I agree about everything....except the part of worshipping him.God is the only one to be worshipped.Sorry if You don't feel that way,but this is after all a place of opinions.I think that obidence to Your husband comes only second place to God.I may even mention the kind of disipline Your husband took with You,to My own.I do need to learn obidence to Him.I have a hard time obeying Him.There is something deeply erotic about being taught to obey in that manner.I love My husband and want to obey Him.But He had been gone for 6 years and now I feel like I should have independence.I want,crave and desire to obey Him,But I don't in alot of things.I do love how it feels to have Him be a manly man and not a sissy boy that hunkers down to obey Me.Yuck! I love the thought of having Him in control and knowing My place as a wife and His place as the husband.That is the natural way God intended it to be.Him,the husband then the wife.Thanks for this story.Even though I don't agree with the worshipping thing. Be blessed!

taking your husband in your mouth when you are on your knees, particularly after a spanking will make you feel his power. This would be even more effective if you were unclothed. It works well and keeps the natural order in place. You are a true woman and deserve to be under the care of this man, with these practices in place he will never stray.

You are right it is awesome. The rewards are awesome and I'll bet he loves being in control. It is very sexy when a man tells a woman what his demands are in a stern manner.

Couldn't agree more with joesfavourite! I love it when my man demands things of me sternly, and I feel his control of me.

Lead,follow,or get out of the way...