The News Of My Boyfriend

I met him last year during the summer time. We got along so well, December 21st he asked me to be his girlfriend. He asked me right before he took a vacation to Mexico with his family. He came back a month after, to me he had been the most amazing guy I had ever met. Soon our relationship started getting more serious, I met his family, he met a few of my family members of mine too. I got pregnant a few days after his birthday June 26, 2012. It was shocking, at times we didn't know how to handle our situation. Our relationship started having a lot of issues to where I was left at home while he went out and drank with his friends. We didn't live together. I seen many unexpected things while going through his phone. I had a feeling he wasn't doing good things out there. He wasn't, I had sleepless night. Quite a lot of them actually. I cried and cried because I didn't understand what was exactly that he wanted. If I was the one who was always there when he needed me. It didn't matter what time it was. I feel like I gave him everything I could. Since I was pregnant I feel like I needed a lot more of his attention. Till the last day he lived I felt he chose his friends over me. I told him I was feeling bad, matter of fact I went to bed crying, the last text message he got from me said "I've always been there for you, no matter how many sleepless nights you've given me. Even if it was four in the morning, him being there for me was the least he could have done. I woke up at five am hoping I had a text message from him but I had no reply. At 8 am a friend of mine came knocking on my door. You can tell she had fear in her eyes. She didn't wanna tell me! So that day , I hear "your boyfriend has passed away" that was the worst and will always be the worst day of my life. Seeing his body there, without moving, without talking. I felt so hopeless! I miss him like I have never missed anybody. October 31st I had my first ultrasound. Which we were excited about, that same day was the day I had to walk through a cemetery for his burial. I found out I was having a boy, and for some reason he always knew it was a boy. Without even knowing what it really was he went shopping for baby boy clothes. He was so excited! That's what breaks my heart even more. I'm left with a beautiful piece of our love. But till this day I wish all this was just a dream I could wake up from. But I know this is real and I gotta be strong not only for me but more for my baby. I know nobody will ever fulfill my heart the way he did.
Prisila122111 Prisila122111
18-21, F
3 Responses Nov 25, 2012

I feel your pain hun. I really do. I lost my boyfriend 7 months ago. Til this day I cry everyday. Sometimes I feel as though the pain worsens, for me atleast. I'm here if you just want to talk, and we can talk about any and everything! God bless. <3

I feel your pain hun. I really do. I lost my boyfriend 7 months ago. Til this day I cry everyday. Sometimes I feel as though the pain worsens, for me atleast. I'm here if you just want to talk, and we can talk about any and everything! God bless. <3

i know somewhat of your pain. i lost my fiance a few months ago and it was the most horrendous thing in the world to find out i lost him. till this day i still cry and feel so desolate and empty inside.

if you ever need anyone i am here for you 'hugs'

I feel the same way . But for some reason every time I look at our conversations it brings a smile to my face for having an opportunity to have spent those last few months with him. Even if things will never be the same.

Thank you, I am also here for you.

i agree strongly with you on the conversation thing. i constantly re-read the conversations i had with my loved one and it always makes me happy to remember the good times we had.

And I'm sure we'll have those days of happiness and those days we break down and cry. I spend time with his family because they've been so supportive towards me and they're just so excited to meet their grandson but every time I walk to visit his room I can't help but to cry. It's just so sad!

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