Too Liberal For His Liking

I have been involved in a committed relationship for the past year. As the relationship has progressed, things about my past sexual experiences have surfaced which I don't think my boyfriend can accept. Before becoming involved with him I did my fair share of sleeping around. I was always safe, using proper protection and attending doctors visits regularly, but I was definitely a little wreckless about how I chose sexual partners. It wasnt about love or trust or an interest in being with the person romantically. It was often just about sex. I'm attracted to you, you're attracted to me, let's have some fun, thanks i'll see you next time. That's it. Lust can be a beautiful thing if you dont mistake it for something more and you don't experience it everytime an elligible bachelor comes along. It has to be carefully managed and only acted upon when the circumstances are right. Lust is a game of pleasure in which you are in control of the rules.Typically you might imagine that a man would understand that mentality, this crafty and casual approach to sex. Yet somehow I ended up with one of the few, one of the sensitive ones, who regards sex in a more meaningful and traditional way.The issue is not that my past behavior is causing him not to trust me.I am 100% committed to him, I have no desire or intentions to cheat and I'm fairly sure he's confident about that. But it's the way he regards my past actions, as shamefull things he wishes I could retract. But you know what, I'm not ashamed. I've had some pretty spectacular sexual experiences that didnt mean a thing to me, I've learned alot from my experiences and had a whole lot of fun over the years. Yes I slept with a football player just because he was nice, and strong, and I thought that would be fun. Yes I slept with a local on spring break because I was in paradise, in the mood, and he was a great kisser. And if any of this makes me sound like a ****, thats okay. Because I don't feel like one. And I never for a moment regretted any of my actions. I don't know if he actually looks down on me for how I conducted myself as a single girl in her 20's, or if he's just jealous and uncomfortable knowing he's by far, not the only one I've been with... but I think every woman owns the right to dictate her own motives and experiences in bed. Men always have. And if you can't accept the girlfriend I am because of the single girl I was? Thats just not fair. And you don't deserve to reap the benefits of everything I've learned on my conquests anyway.
alisaxo91 alisaxo91
18-21, F
Nov 28, 2012