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My Daughter Is Slipping Away!

My daughter is 21.  She lives in the other end of the state attending college.  She started dating someone 1 1/2 years ago.  Little by little she began to change.  We are a very close family.  She told me his family and him do not get along.  They dropped him off for college and never went back to visit, he was at that time a junior.  In the past year she has lost interest in taking care of her self.  She was always very conscientious about her clothes, make up, hair, now she looks like she is just thrown together.  She is 5'2" and maybe 108 lb. she said she's worried she is getting fat.  My husband and I went to visit her last week and she look pale, withdrawn and sickly.  When she was home for Christmas and her boyfriend came to visit, her sister her him say to her she had to drink another cup of coffee because she had to stay up with him until he went to bed.  We feel by other things that has happened he is malipulative and controlling.  My daughter believed in abstinence before marriage.  We found out in March that she has contracted the HPV virus from him.  We are devasated by this relationship.  He is smug when he has been around us.  He interrupts her when she talks.  He is always late when we have plans.  We fear she may never be able to break away from him.  We need help and prayers.

cleopgh cleopgh 51-55 6 Responses May 10, 2009

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I understand completely. My daughter is in the same situation apart from the H.I.V. part, so far. Her boyfriend was abusing persc<x>ription drugs and has been in re-hab, but only to look good for a D.U.I he was arrested for not to long ago. What gets us is he was arrested right in front of her when she was 17, he just turned 19, and even that did not detour her away from seeing him. According to them they are engaged. His dad and we are not taking their engagement seriously, however, his mother who has absolutely no common sense is taking it seriously, therefore, they have some one to turn to when we try and intervene between them which makes it difficult. If they didn't have her to turn to then we would probably have had them broken up by now, which is very irritating. Our daughter could have been a model, but it is like you said she now looks like some bag lady off the streets. She used to love to go shopping, now she gets this trash second hand clothes from one of her friends which is also encouraging their relationship. Her face is breaking out whereas before sh.e used to be very concerned about her complexion and the way she looked going out. Now when we see her, her makeup is all ran down her face, her hair is all matted up etc. She used to be a person concerned about her body and environment, but now she smokes, has done drugs, and just looks terrible. She used to want to be a doctor and go off to a nice college, but her boyfriend has her going to some community college here and he had to make sure when she registered for courses he registered with her so they could have some of the same classes. She used to be very outgoing, but now it is like we can't breathe without her checking with him first, and heaven forbid we dare and try and ask her to go out of town or state with us on a family trip. She used to be very close to her family as well, but now it is as if this makeshift friend of hers and this boyfriend are her only family. The last thing they have done is gotten her to break her cell phone, now we can only get a hold of her through this friend's phone or the boyfriend's. I keep praying she will some how take a stand on her own and break away from these people, but I am losing hope.

its her choice she should stand up for herself!

This story is really heartbreaking, yet I will put her in my prayers. If you have the time or the oportunity, talk to her about it. Maybe at first it may seem that she doesn't listen because she is in a relationship with him, but in some point she will.

I'll be praying.

i'm sorry to hear that, that's horrible. Somebody needs to confront this boy and this girl and tell her that she is being negatively influenced instead of positively. It's hard to tell someone that when they are in love with the person...I know, my first relationship was very much so.

am so sorry to hear this, it really broke my heart. i will pray for your family and especially your daughter. <br />
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does she have any close friend who could probably talk to her and make her see the light of day? am really distressed reading this :(